Memory Lane

You

!!NOT PROOFREAD!!
!!NOT EDITED!!
!!PUBLISHED FOR FUN!!
!!MADE WHEN I WAS A TRYHARD!!

I didn't know you, but i also did.
I knew stuff about you;
Your hobbies, music taste, favorite things to do to pass time and a lot more.
But i don't know you.
At least, now i don't.

We used to be friends, but we fell out.
It wasn't your fault, everyone saw it coming, including me.
And to be honest, i wasn't even surprised nor hurt when we stopped talking and just suddenly saw that you unfriended me on everything.
But sometimes i look back at it and hope that we could've made it work.

It's strange....

Seeing you like this......

When we were kids you would always say;
"I would never wear stuff like that! It looks so uncomfortable"

But yet now you wear skirts that show your thighs.

"Why is her top like that?"

Yet now you wear crop tops every day.

"She would look better without make up"

But now.... You wear it.

And i know the reason why.

But at the same time i don't.

You're a confusing human being.
Yesterday, i saw you, eating like crazy;
Today though, it was as if you didn't have a stomach.

"I'm just not hungry"

I've heard that before.

I know you're hungry.

It's strange, so so strange.

You walk pass a mirror, and people see your reflection, yet the only thing you see is everything that you want to change about yourself.

"Gosh you're so pretty, i wish i had your body and face"

You deny it, people call you humble and sweet;
I on the other hand call you names in my head.
Insecure, Weird, Outcast, Try-hard.
Yet there was one that always hit hard;
Ugly.

It hit harder than any other name because you know it's true, deep down you know it's true; You know that under all the short skirts you use to show off your legs, the cropped tops that flaunt your flat stomach and the make up that accent your cheek bones and nose, is something that you can never change, and that is what you call "Ugly."

Ever since we reached High school, the only thing i heard from you were complaints about how ugly you felt.

"My face is fat"

"My thighs are big"

"My chest is too small"

"My shoulders are too broad"

"My nose is too flat"

"My body is ugly"

"I'm ugly"

I hated you.

But i knew that i had to help you, and i did.

I tried everything that i could, from teaching you make up to helping you work out.

And it worked,

You got your dream body.

You're so pretty.

Yet all i can do now is admire from afar.

The painting i worked so hard on, instantly put on a museum; While I, The Artist, was forced to stay in the audience and not be the one to stand next to you, My Art, to be able to show everyone how beautiful you truly are, both on the inside and the outside.

I felt betrayed, i hated that others say stuff about you despite not knowing the real you.

I hated it so much.I hated not being able to communicate with you.

So i tried to talk to you.
I tried to see if there was a way for me to rekindle our bond again, but it was far too late.
Our relationship was now marred.

Every waking second i try to reconnect with you, it was as if there was a wall separating you from me, a barrier that refuses to let me speak with you.

So i stopped.

Not because it was hopeless, but, because i finally found out the reason why.
Why i couldn't reconnect with you anymore.
There wasn't a barrier or a wall separating you from me.

You were purposefully ignoring me.

Throwing away every comment and everything that i tried to say to you.

All the missed calls, the unread texts and unopened letters i put in your locker;
It was your doing.

You chose to not listen to me.

And one day, you got fed up.
Every single thing you didn't like about me.
Every single thing you wanted to happen to me.
And i realized.

You hated me, throughout our whole friendship you didn't like me, you never did.

And you said.
"I don't like you, you make me miserable and i hate the fact that every time i try to run away from you, you always find a way to make me come crawling back to you"

But why? I thought you liked me.

"I don't like you, that was all in your head, i never liked you and i never will"

And that was when i realized.

You're pretty on the outside, but that's all that there is to you.

You're pretty, but you're not kind;
You're pretty, but you're not gorgeous;
You're pretty, but you're not great;
You're pretty, but you're not enough;
You're pretty, but you're not.