I want to be yours

it's 8:30 pm and all of us is sitting on the dinning table Waiting for Halis ağa to begin

It's been a long day already , Ferit was acting silly again because I hadn't given him a kiss yet , since I lost the bet , he's been reminding me about the kiss every day

A voice interrupted my thoughts

Latif :
Halis ağa will not come , You can start

I took my first bite
and looked at Ferit , he was lost in his plate

I  hit his leg lightly under the table ,
he finally paid attention and started eating his food after giving me a small smile

I think this day was long for him too
Halis ağa called him earlier
Since he left his room he hasn't looked like himself

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a light touch on my thigh
‎‏
I looked under the table to see Ferit's hand on my thigh , I looked at his face again‏
‏he was giving me a playful smile

And I who was thinking he wasn't feeling like himself

This time I didn't try to push him away
for some reason I ignored him and continued eating

Do I really want him to touch me ?
Do I want to kiss him ? 
Should I give in to my desire and ignore everything that happened before ?
Once I accept it , it will mean that I have surrendered to him

I will have to surrendered to his touches and desires

Am I ready for all of this ?

Does ignoring his touches mean that I have already surrendered ?

I could sense him feeling suspicious , he pulls his hand back leaving behind a warm trace on my thigh from his touches

I think he expected a quick reaction and attack from me as usual

I took the last bite and finished my plate ,
I looked at the rest plates , which were also almost finished

Ferit POV  :

I noticed Seyran's desire to leave the place and go to the room
So I got up and pulled her chair out

: Ah benim güzel karım

She got up and wished everyone a good appetite and looked at me with a slight smile

I took her hand and we went to the room , When we entered the room , she went to sit on the bed , I saw her .... She was lost in her thoughts again First at the dining table and now here

What is she thinking about ?
Is she Okay ?

I tried to lighten the mood a little , so I could sit down and talk about how I put my hand on her thigh a little while ago , and why she didn't do something about it .

: Seyran

: what ?

Seyran POV :

Please Lord , don't let him bring up him touching me earlier

: Did you like it ?

: like what

: me touching you

I tried to look away ... How would I answer a question I don't know the answer to ?
I took a breath and said

: I don't know

: you do not know ?

I can feel his features changing to surprise at my answer

: It's just a simple touch Ferit , don't make a big deal out of it