Wrong love | Minsung {Discontinued}

26 - Stalling

⚠️| Suicide, blood

-Jisung-

I'm so sorry everyone, thank you for trying to help me but I seriously can't take this anymore. I've been such a burden to everyone recently, but I hope you understand that I'm doing this for you guys. I'll no longer be in your hair, I'll be up in the stars, so please look for me in the sky.

Thank you, Channie Hyung, for trying to make me feel better and being around to help when everyone else was either asleep or out somewhere else. You're like a father figure in my eyes and I really appreciate your kindness.

Thank you, Binnie, ever since you and Felix got together you've never failed to make me smile as well, I really enjoyed rapping with you when I got the chance and when we would both attack Felix. I really enjoyed spending time with you.

Hyune, thank you for teaching me dance and always cheering me up with your dramatic acts, even if they didn't work recently, you've always put a slight bit of hope into my heart. Even if we sometimes fight like an old married couple, you'll always mean everything to me.

Felix, thank you, I'm so sorry it has come to this, and I hope you know that you were and always will be my number one best friend and the sunshine in my life, even if I'm not going to be here anymore, please continue to spread your light across the earth. Please visit me at our special spot when you miss me?

Thank you for everything Seungmin, I always enjoyed watching you and Felix bicker along with your ways to make Hyunjin irritated, you always brought a smile to my face and I'm sorry for how I've been recently. I wish I could change my decision but it's all I have left. I'm sorry and I'll miss you.

Jeongin, I know you're young and this will affect you and I'm sorry. But still, thank you. As the youngest you were our Maknae on top and you deserve the world, please don't be sad or discouraged just think about me when you miss me, yeah?

I'm sorry for leaving so soon, but it must be done. I can't take the nightmares and heartbreak anymore. 

Lots of love from Sungie.

I placed the note down and quickly ran out of the house, taking the side gate as I knew the rest would be home from their different jobs soon. I ran until I reached the hill Felix, and I would constantly meet on, I stared at the sky.

It would be sunset soon since I left quite late, I would be able to be in the stars soon. I smiled weakly as I stood up and walked closer to the tree, no one knew this area since to get to the hill you had to go through lots of trees to reach the small clearing.

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

I went into my pocket and found the blade I had stored in my pocket, I glided it against my wrist carefully. I had found out that hitting a certain artery in your wrist could possibly cause you to die, and I wanted to see the crimson blood. I deserved it after all.

I smiled weakly as I began to carve into my wrist, I wanted to leave some marks before I ended everything, so I glided the blade deep into my skin to let small drops of blood fall onto the floor. I drew around my wrist leaving a small pattern.

Multiple small colorful lines danced along my wrist and dropped small patterns of red onto the contrasting green grass. I smiled at the thought of the blood. It felt relieving almost to finally let it loose, it was like emptying the pain onto the grass so I would never feel it again.

So, I could never feel anything again.

Minho is in jail because of me, if I had told the cops something else maybe he would be free right now. I just seem to ruin everything, and it all happened when I was finally falling for him fully, it was the first time I had felt love since Dae.

Dae. That bitch ruins everything. He was the reason I was so scared of Minho, I thought he would be like Dae, and I was scared, but if he never hurt me maybe I could've understood Minho sooner. I looked down at my blood-stained wrist and started sobbing.

I'm stalling, I need to let go. I keep thinking to myself and putting off what I was making myself do. The boys probably already read the note and accepted what was happening. I couldn't just show up at the house after leaving that note.

Shit! I keep stalling! I looked down and grabbed the blade tighter and took a shaky breath in. I slowly and shakily lowered it to my wrist. My vision got foggy with tears, and everything looked green and red, they seemed to perfectly contrast with each other.

I wiped away the tears and tried to compose myself as I brought the blade to my wrist. I need to stop being a chicken and just go for it. I took a deep breath in and lowered the blade once more, it now reached my wrist, one move and I could end it all.

I thought of all my memories with Felix, then Changbin, then Chan. Everyone's faces showed in my face, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin as well. Then Minho's face appeared in my mind as well. The pain of everyone's worried faces stung my head as a piercing headache reached my head.

I don't know if the pain was from the blood loss or from the pain of knowing how everyone will feel. I felt so guilty, but I could take all the pain. I took one final breath as I finally lowered the bloody blade to my wrist. This is the end. Goodbye everyone.

"Jisung!" 

A/N: Wow, so this took me a lot longer than expected... As someone who can get triggered very easily this was quite difficult for me to write but I still hope this isn't to bad. As someone who has had many friends nearly commit, this hurt me a lot to write so thank you for waiting.

1000 words exactly