Whatever is on my mind

Wait what?

Remember how just in last chapter I wrote about being unwanted? I just realized I'm not that "unwanted" after all. And apparently there are two guys that seem a little interested in me and it's the boys that I've been writing about. First off, the guy that I met just recently that I can't be with at all. Second, the guy that I've been crushing on since I started this highschool that is super cute and has the exact same interests as me. Wanna know what's even more crazy? They think exactly the same shit. Not even kidding, they said the exact same thing to me on one day and I just replied the same to both. It felt so weird talking to two guys who don't even talk to eachothers and don't know nothing about my situation with either of them. The pretty christian boy randomly flirted with me yesterday which I have never been more shocked over in my life since no one (as far as i know) has ever really flirted with me except for nasty men twice my age. I didn't even know how to respond I was like "haha. oh." and then today he just jumpscared me by poking on my waist while walking past me (boy thought he was slick🤦🏽‍♀️). I first thought it was my friend that did it until I saw him walking past me and my friend far away just staring jaw dropped like it's some kind of moment of history. I asked my other friend who is close to him if he ever really flirts with anyone that way and he said that he absolutely does not which is even weirder. And remember how he didn't know how to even pronounce my name and said he'd call me "Rose"? He said my name perfectly fine when he called out to me yesterday. I suspect that he somehow knows that me and my friends has been talking about him and that I am interested in him, but I feel so weird now that he's actually giving me attention. What if he's only joking around and making fun of me? Because no guy actually does that to me. What if I only like him because of the way he's treating me? And the way he looks. He's fine as hell. I feel bad too because I'm slowly starting to lose interest in the guy who never really made a move but is totally my type and I would've married right away. But I like my cute wholesome moments with him, when it's quiet all of a sudden and we're just looking at everything except at eachothers while we're walking together. He offered to teach me how to play chess and even wanted to be with me while we were going to do ice skating, but I left before he even knew because I was too scared. So when we were walking home (we walk for only about 3 minutes together since I live other direction and this is the first time walking with him btw) he was asking where I went and sounded somewhat dissapointed and I apologized. I wanted to talk to him more, I'm way more comfortable with him than with the pretty boy. I mean I'm not uncomfortable with the pretty guy, just really shy. I hate this situation so much. Imagine if neither of them like me, I would be so happy. Please tell me I'm the most delusional bitch and no man will ever love me please please please