If Only

New York, May 9, 1946

Standing on the Brooklyn Bridge, Peggy Cater gazes at the setting sun, feeling the breeze brush on her face. For the first time since the order to capture Howard Stark, Peggy was able to exhale deeply and find a moment of break.

For the past month, a lot has happened. She feels like she has been running around, chasing enemies both left and right. It felt endless and she feels out of breath. When she thought that settling Howard's problem was going to be the end of the drama, she was given a new dilemma to think about.

Peggy was furious with Howard, for lying to her and for keeping Steve Rogers' blood. Howard may have had reasons, but it wasn't justifiable to her. And Jarvis understood her sentiment. So, here she was standing on the Brooklyn Bridge, cradling the vial that contains the last remaining blood of Steve Rogers in her coat's pocket.

Sighing for the second time, Peggy takes the vial out of her pocket and stared at it. At that moment, memories of her and Steve flooded her mind. She then started feeling tingling in her hands and felt shoots of pain in her heart as those memories played. Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, Peggy gently removes the cover of the vial and slowly tilts it until the blood drips over the river.

As Peggy watches the vial empty, she whispers in the wind, "Goodbye, my darling..." and soon, tears started pouring down her face despite trying to keep her emotions at bay.

For the second time, Peggy had to let go of Steve Rogers and mourn his death once again. It may have been just his blood, but for her, it was more than that. It was Steve. Her Steve.

... ... ...

Walking the halls of her new residence, courtesy of Howard, Peggy aimlessly looked for her bedroom. She held one bottle in each hand with a tight grip that turns her knuckles white. She still feels the pang in her chest, as if it was being shot every minute. Her face was streaked with dried tears and fresh tears kept on coming.

As she finds her door, Peggy suddenly stops in front of it. She felt alone, almost like she was abandoned by her loved ones. She then thought to herself that the abandonment she was feeling was derived from the fact that she has been left behind by the love of her life. She was left alone for the sake of everyone's safety.

Snuffling her sobs as tears roll down her face, Peggy blankly stared at her door. She hates the fact that she couldn't protect the world alongside the man she loves. They had similar goals but it's frustrating that they couldn't do it together.

Why couldn't we protect the world together? Why did one of us have to go?

"Peggy?" a voice suddenly calls, snapping the agent out of her thoughts, making her whip her head to look at the person who called her.

"Angie," Peggy replies as she sniffles again before turning away to wipe her tears with her sleeves. When she felt like her tears had been brushed off, she looks back at her friend and tried to put on a smile.

"Hey, you okay?" Angie asks as she slowly steps out of her room and walks towards Peggy, "Are you... crying?"

"Oh, no," Peggy says, trying to keep her tone light. She then shakes her head and clears her throat, standing up straight. She only then realizes she was holding on to something as she tightens her grip.

Angie's eyes suddenly drop down to her hands. She was holding two bottles in her hands, "I was just..." Peggy trails off for a moment before deciding to be a little honest, "Would you like to join me?" she then lifts the bottle of whiskey and wine in her hands.

Angie stared at Peggy for a moment, slowly tilting her head as she felt confused and curious as to what is going on with her. The last time she saw her that day, Peggy had these sad eyes, and she couldn't pinpoint the exact reason.