It started raining after he did it. I was freezing and I was weak, vulnerable. My tears mixed with the rain, not a person to be seen. My knees were shaking, and I was getting numb, but I couldn't feel a thing as the pain in my chest rose above all - my broken heart. My body couldn't tolerate it anymore. There and then, I collapsed.
I woke up to the color of white, the scent of medicine and rubber gloves and sounds coming from a machine. The only thing I felt was the pain in my chest... Still.
He did it so easily. I couldn't accept that. He only told me three words. Three words and he just walked away. No explanations, reasons or anything. He stared at me with blank eyes. He wouldn't show his emotions. Did it hurt him? HAHAHAHAHHA who am I kidding? How could it hurt him if he had done it so easily?... Right?
He told me he loved me just the day before. How could this happen? Was I too much to handle? He couldn't end it just like that. After everything? I guess I really couldn't let go as I was too attached. I should've listened to them. Never make someone your everything because once they let you go, you have nothing.
I was finally discharged. I rested at home like the doctor said. I tried not to stress myself out. I cleaned my apartment. Everything that reminded me of him. What was left of my house was just plain furniture. He really built my home, didn't he?
All this 'moving on' work was tough. I decided to get a cup of coffee. I entered the nearest Starbucks and I-. He's here... with another girl.
"Hey, Richard. Isn't that your ex?" I overheard. My heart was jumping crazily as if it was at a Fall Out Boy concert. I ordered a tall cappucino and was about to take a seat when I bumped into a rock hard body I was very familiar with. "I'm sorry." I apologized and attempted to walk away, but he held my arm.
"Shane, wait. I'm sorr-" "No, Richard. Stop. Will you please let go of me?" I interrupted coldly. "Come on, Shane baby, please. Let me explain. I want, no, need you back." "What for, Richard? So that you could just lead me on and leave me again without an explanation? Richard, I'm on the process of moving on. I already told you, once you let me go, there's never getting me back. As much as I want to." I murmured the last part, stood up and left my coffee.
I realized after that conversation, don't always follow your heart. It's filled with regret.
