skz oneshots.

🌷🍃 starved : seungmin

a/n: one of the only times I'm writing reader x member. for some reason this was literally one of the easiest things for me to write (probably because it's cliche and I read stuff like this every now and then) but god did it hurt
honestly I considered doing another member instead of reader but then I realized this is one of the only times (as of right now) I can attempt reader so yeahh! fun

cw: seungmin x reader, established relationship, g/n reader, miscommunication???, mostly angst the poor guy is just reminiscing of the fluff, mention of mental health condition, poor seungmin is just a shy and insecure guy, and maybe a little bit possessive, reader is kinda ignorant, jisung is mentioned, no happy ending here guys, unless?? (there's none)

word count : 1000+

🫧

seungmin is starved. in a lot more ways than one. or maybe they all added up to one huge starvation.

love. lovesick?

it'd fit with how he felt all the time nowadays.

or maybe he was just acting extra needy and clingy after once again going through one of his harder times dealing with his mental health. but the thing is that this time around, you weren't there at open arms. he wasn't exactly sure what you were up to, but he was aware it was something about work and all.

he just didn't want to press or ask about it, afraid to seem desperate or to find out something he'd be better off not knowing.

he was close at one point, though.

"y/n.." he said as he walked into the kitchen, having taken a shower.

"hey, min," you smiled at him endearingly as you leaned against the counter, just coming home from work.

he went over and kissed you softly, and you did the same. "how's work?"

"alright," you sigh. "tiring though. but you know, i'm really glad i have jisung—"

"jisung?" he repeats, a pout slightly forming on his face.

okay, so maybe he REALLY liked keeping you to himself at all times.

"don't worry about it," you reply, knowing how he gets a little sulky when you mention other guys.

he hums in thought for a little bit, then nods. "mkay.."

he was missing the feeling. the feeling of relief and safety he found when he came home on a bad day to sob into you. to receive those sweet words of comfort he so desperately wanted— needed to hear.

or the feeling of when you came home, him instantly running over in joy as if he hadn't seen you in years and kissing you all over. that hardly happened now.

and he'll admit, it did take him a while to realize that he needed all of your affection and that he was capable of giving affection.

at first, he was quite stressed about how your relationship would work. so worried about everything— if you'd like what he'd get you as a gift, if you'd like his surprises, if you wanted the food he got— until one day you shut him down from that completely, allowing him to completely melt away the stress and worries he had built up because of you.

"min, relax," you had said to him, interrupting his rambling of how he just wanted to make everything just right for you.

you gave him some kind words of comfort and affirmation as you both rested on the couch after a long day. after that evening, he was sold on being with you forever.

loving forever.

and before he knew it, you guys shared an apartment.

he was overjoyed the day you had moved in, and he finally felt like he knew what home was.

somehow, over time, things changed.

now you were distant.

everything felt.. different. like it was being done just because it needed to be done.

compared to before, it was like whatever that you had going on with work had completely preoccupied your mind instead of him.

he missed you.

yes, you did always leave him kisses and kind words before you went anywhere, and you did always have nightly cuddle sessions every now and then, but they didn't feel the way they used to, so intimate and caring. it just made itself a routine. a routine gone old.

in the early evening, seungmin was laid out comfy on the couch, focused on his drama playing on TV as you had walked over, all dressed up to clearly go out somewhere, and leaned to give him a kiss on his head. it felt hardly romantic or affectionate, his mind was already thinking of the worse. chaste, out of 'obligation.'

"y/n? where are you going?" he asked quietly, sitting up slightly.

"it's a gathering for work, since we're basically done with our marketing project. I'll be back home before midnight," you said calmly, smiling at him and ruffling his hair gently. "see you later, mkay?"

oh.

he nods absentmindedly. "'kay. bye," he replied, his thoughts heading into overdrive.

his overthinking was bad, especially when he didn't have anyone to ease him.

maybe you're growing out of your love for him, he thought.

maybe you're using his obliviousness to your advantage and seeing somebody else (and he had an idea of who it was) for 'work matters', he thought.

maybe he was being a bit too much for you to handle, he thought.

maybe you don't care about him anymore, he thought.

once he heard the apartment door lock from the front, he shut off the TV, draped the blanket that was previously covering him over the couch and went into your shared bedroom. screw his damn idea of going out for dinner now.

his eyes stung as he looked longingly at the bed, so badly wishing you were splayed on it teasingly, wanting him to come over so the both of you could cuddle the night away, just like all of those nights when you two had first moved in.

he went into the bathroom with foggy eyes as he tried to properly get ready to go to sleep, but he couldn't focus. the only thing that was going through his mind was where are you where are you do you still love me do you still love me.

after brushing his teeth, he gave up on trying to do the rest of his nightly routine. which was one of his compulsive behaviors in keeping things in schedule, so he was quite aware that he was spiraling down bad.

and so he sobbed until he fell asleep. he relished in your scent from your pillow, burying his face into it and hugging it as if it were you.

hours later, in the middle of the night, when you were still somehow gone, he had woken up and stuffed all of the sheets and pillows into the washing machine out of humiliation after seeing the tear stains that lingered. a painful reminder.

then he fell asleep, back on the couch, dried of tears and numb of the ache in his heart.

he's starved.

starved for you.