Greece 2000-something.
Everything sucks.Charlie Tohver, almost 18 was lying down in the hotel bedroom, groaning.
One year and 7 months have passed since the Tohvers moved out of Lake Draven and the young man has been in a serious state of depression.
It did not help that his younger brother Vinny almost sent a prank mail to Charlie's best friend May.
The door knocked.
"Leave me alone to die in this stupid silk bed please!" Charlie groaned.
"It's me, maláka!" A girl's voice was heard.
"Come in, Helena..." Charlie looked up.
Helena, a beautiful local girl who has been a long time friend with the Tohvers walked in and pushed the wheelchair on her way aside to sit next to Charlie.
"Your mom said that you didn't come down to dinner... Again." Helena said sternly.
"I'm sorry... But I'm not in the mood..." Charlie explained as Helena took his hand.
"Charlie, you cannot stay depressed for so long. Your parents are worried." She told him.
"Maybe they should have thought of that before they even decided to leave Lake Draven!" He grabbed his pillow and threw it.
"Did you even speak to your friends back there?"
"No... I did not speak to Johnny, Daniel or... May... She saw me at the damn bus station..." Charlie cried.
Helena sighed.
"You liked her, didn't you?"
Charlie nodded.
"I wanted to say something but now i can't... And my stupid brother insists that I should send something on Messenger! What should I do?! Nudge May and say that I'm sorry for bailing out on our epic dance because my mom got us to Wisconsin?!" Charlie growled at Helena.
"How about send a snail mail? Girls don't mind that stuff... It is more personal and heartfelt than a stupid email." Helena shrugged.
"Send it from Greece? Are you nuts?" Charlie looked at Helena.
"No, I'm almond."
Charlie rolled his eyes.
"She probably hates me."
"Nobody can hate you, Charlie Tohver..." Helena suddenly kissed Charlie.
"What was that for?" He was startled.
"Sorry, I just... I like you."
"But I'm a cripple." Charlie pointed at his legs.
"I do not care about that, you silly kólos!" Helena nudged him gently and Charlie smiled.
"I lost May but... I'm glad I have you at least..."
Helena held Charlie close and kissed him gently.
"What was that for?"
"I like you."
"No shit Sherlock but what was that for?" Charlie retorted back and Helena rolled her eyes.
"I think maybe you need something to cheer yourself up... Have you ever been with a woman, Charlie? Like ever touched a vagina?"
Helena was sitting closer to him as she licked her lips. Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Helena, i came out of one."--
"Charlie? Charlie? Chaaarlieeeee?"
Charlie, now almost 37 looked up.
May, was snapping her fingers over his face.
"I know my blowjobs are relaxing but you actually fell asleep." May chuckled shaking her head.
Both were in their bed at their flat early in the morning and May Rojas, 37, was pleasuring her former childhood bestie turned enemy for life until they eventually became lovers.
"Shit, I'm sorry... It has been a long week. Nobody told me the two jobs of being the face of a big corporation and the owner of a comedy club is that exhausting." Charlie sat up as a white cat jumped up at the bed.
"Gizmo, hey bud!" Charlie grinned as the cat nuzzled May who pulled away from Charlie's crotch.
"Silly cat..." May chuckled as she put down the chonky floof who started to chew on Charlie's sneaker.
She sat up and looked at her boyfriend before laughing.
"What is it?" Charlie asked.
"I still cannot believe that you did that."
"Did what?"
"Give up your regular job and move to Port Fredricks to be with me AND buy The Broadhurst."
"I didn't want you out of my life again." Charlie shrugged sheepishly and May kissed him gently.
"I know, you big sappy dingus."
Charlie tackled May and crawled over her.
"It's Big Donged Sappy Dingus to you, babes..." Charlie whispered seductively before kissing down her body.After breakfast in bed and in the kitchen, Charlie and May got inside his Nissan Cube, which managed to make his old Suzuki Spresso look like a fancy sports car.
"Please let me burn this car down." May asked him half-jokingly.
"Why?"
"It's fuck ugly. Please, I'm only carpooling with you because the public transport is a fucking joke, otherwise I wouldn't let myself be seen in this fuggmobile 2.0." May was crouching in her seat.
"You know that guys with ugly regular guys are proven to have huge dicks, right?" Charlie asked.
"... Is that a guy thing? Like for real?"
"Unspoken. Whenever you see a guy with a really fancy car, especially a luxury brand, that guy splashed lots from his wallet because man cannot buy himself a huge throbbing cock." Charlie explained and May looked at him.
"No shit?! I went to bed with a guy who had a Lambo but his dick was like the size of a toddler, made me feel that I was a pedo! Female Drake or something" May confessed.
"See? It's science!" Charlie grinned as a Ferrari Roma pulled up next to their Cube.
A guy wearing lots of bling was driving a blonde woman. Charlie pulled out his phone and put on his Spotify.
"Eenie weeny teeny weeny shriveled little short dicked man...!" The Bluetooth stereo blasted as the fancy driver glared at Charlie and May as they drove off while cackling like witches.
YOU ARE READING
Worst Friends Forever 2 - The Last Virgin
HumorCharlie and May are on the run again, this time from a family of corrupt police who are friends with the couple's foe Johnny. They decide to hide at Camp Cumming - a summer school camp by the lake where they meet Morgan and Krystina - a sweet geeky...