The rain had stopped and with it the memories.
Lucy didn't have to look up now to see that the dark clouds had given way to clear skies and gentle breezes. She slowly made her way through the crowded streets of Margeret Town, eager to reach the market before it became overly crowded. The keys at her hip clinked as she walked along, providing a comfort she didn't know she needed. The hood of her brown cape was drawn despite the heat that followed the storm. However, people didn't seem to find it strange. She didn't receive the usual strange stares for walking around, face half covered by what could only amount to a dirty old rag. Her feet dragged slightly as she continued.
'Guess it's to be expected for letting those memories in.'
She'd need to keep a better check on her emotions from now on. It didn't help anyone to dwell in the past. When she had set out, she'd thought of only returning once she was strong enough to be of any use to her guild mates. More specifically to Natsu.
Now however, it just felt like she could never go back.
Not once had the guild enquired as to her whereabouts. She knew she was a fairy tail wizard and the guild would seldom check in to see how a mission was going. But Mira at least had to have known she'd be done with her mission by now? The take over mage should have at least informed someone that she hadn't returned.
Did they think her dead? Did they mourn her passing at all, or were they too busy with Lisanna?
Lucy averted her eyes away from the stall she had been standing in front of at the thought. It still cut as deep as it did the first time.
She should have been used to it by now, but she guessed that some things not even time could heal.
Moving on, she slowly drifted through the ever-growing crowd, no longer interested in the wares being sold around her. Instead, she found her mind drifting to happier times.
"Hey Luce! Where have you been? Weve been worried sick about you!"
"Oh, hey Natsu, I just needed some time to recuperate. Loki and I went to the new Onibus resort sorry to have worried you."
She smiled at the dragon slayer, her eyes closed in sincerity.
"It's fine. Just take us with next time will ya."
She remembered her heart skipping several beats at Natsu's mumbled reply, his lips puckered in a full pout, cheeks dusted with a blush. Later Mira had told her that the slayer hadn't known what to do with himself while she was away. He'd moped around the guild refusing to fight, refusing to eat. His sour mood had all the members wishing for her swift return.
She wondered if he'd even noticed her absence this time around.
Lucy's eyes fell to the ground where she came to a halt. The crowd danced and moved around her stagnant form.
'Probably not.'
She thought bitterly, a sad smile nipping at the corners of her mouth. Hesitating a second or two longer caused another memory to jump to mind.
"Hey Natsu, no matter what, let's have lots of adventures together ok?"
"What's gotten into you Lucy?"
Her eyes were downturned, missing the white-haired beauty as she entered the guild. She'd been nervous to say at least that to her slayer, so much more on the tip of her tongue. If she could only get the words out. Closing her eyes, she plucked up the courage to just tell him.
"Natsu I –"
"Oh, hey Natsu, Lucy."
The words had instantly died on her tongue, and as she had looked at Natsu's happy, smiling face she knew she couldn't do it. Lifting a hand up in a silent greeting she acknowledged Lisanna's presence.
She watched them talk for a second or so, everyone else instantly forgotten.
"Sorry Lucy." She had winced at that phrase. "You were saying?"
Natsu asked, clearly on the verge of leaving with Lisanna when he must have remembered he'd been talking to her before Lisanna came over. She shook her head in a silent no, too afraid that her voice would crack, and her emotions would betray her to speak. Natsu had hesitated for a second, looking at her with a strange look on his face, before he nodded once, frowning. But he didn't say anything else as he turned around and left with the take over mage.
"Stop."
Lucy whispered as the memory tugged at her heart, tears springing to her eyes once more. She forced her mind to close off, shoving the other memories down that threatened to bombard her. Lifting her eyes once more she looked up and in front of her. She couldn't keep dwelling on the past like this. It never served anyone and all it did was leave her in a depressed state for weeks on end. No, she needed to be done with this now. To look forward, to the future was what she needed to do now.
Steeling her resolve she moved to take a step.
And then faltered.
From her peripheral she could have sworn that she'd seen a flash of pink, followed by a flicker of red. But when she whipped her head in that direction, she didn't see anyone, or anything familiar. All she could see were strangers moving past her, blurring into one large image. Her heart that had stopped at the sight, suddenly started beating inside of her chest again, the pain of stopping for the second or two unbearable. It almost brought her to her knees.
Was she losing her mind? Was time finally catching up to her? Or did she suffer from some hereditary disease that caused her to go insane at such a young age?
Maybe it was the loneliness.
Lucy let her bangs shield her eyes from the world around her. A sad smile gracing her lips once more.
'That must be it.'
She thought, finally moving again, seamlessly blending in with the crowd around her.
'I'm just lonely.'
