Sweet Cherry Pink [The GazettE OneShots+Kink Prompts]

Every Time I Hold You Close[Aoiha]

Aoi P.O.V.

It's difficult to put my feelings into words. I can't compose it all into something understandable. Nor can I put my true emotions into action. It feels as if I'm voluntarily holding it all back because if I don't, if I just go ahead and let it all out and break down right in front of you, I'm afraid I'll scare you away even further away from myself than you already are.

Tears always find their way down my face when I think of you and torture myself with thoughts of us being together. I want to hold you, I want to see you. Everyday, I ask for less and less, hoping that I'll at least get one little thing from you. But I know I won't.

But I love you. I keep repeating those words in my mind day after day hoping you would somehow magically hear it, but you never do without fail. 

It hurts.

From the rosebush of my emotions and feelings, I picked you. A dark red rose representing the strong passion filled love I have for you and only you. The red rose in all its beauty , still soft and new without its thorns. This new love without pain. When I first met you, I could hold you close to my heart and only feel your soft petals brush against my skin. No pain, only comfort.

But, as time passed, I watched as you grew your thorns so that no one may hold you ever again. You were hurting and there was nothing I could do and yet, I still held onto you, thorns and all. I kept you close even as your thorns penetrated my chest and pierced my heart that only beats for you. I would never let you go.

  It hurts.

I want to let you go. I want to leaves these scars and emotions behind. I'm so close to the edge of giving up on you, but something is refraining me from doing so. A part of me doesn't want to give up on you, but I know for a fact that it is a waste of time to continue holding onto this impossible dream. 

Maybe I'm still clinging onto that last drop of hope. The one ribbon that remains uncut from me to you. For some reason, It is still kept there by me, consciously or unconsciously, I don't know yet, but I know it's there. 

Even with this strong bond that remains, I can't reach you. I can only watch from afar and pathetically wish, pray, and beg silently for any sort of indication that you at least know how I feel. 

I hate it.

Feeling so weak, not being able to grasp the strength to approach you. But I'm afraid. If I get closer to you, the thorns will only cut me deeper and freeze me. Your cold aura is a barrier between you and me. I want so badly to be your warmth, I want to badly to dissolve that wall you've built up to block yourself away. But I can't.

For someone as perfect as you to be right in front of me, right within my reach, is the worst torture imaginable. To see you, as close as you physically are, and to know I'll never have you. The Gods must be teasing me, punishing me with this strong one-sided desire, cruelly allowing me to fall in love with you, and there's no way for me to escape. 

I want so badly to stop wanting you, but I can't. It's impossible.

All I am able to do is watch and hold these thorns closer. Enduring this pain for you in hopes of one day, I could hold you as my soft rose again.

My beautiful flower.

Uruha.

Yeah this might not make sense at all.... I was kinda depressed yesterday( you know, those random depression spikes lol) so I popped out with this while I was half asleep. Aoi kinda represents me in this story and Uruha as the Gazette. Knowing I might never be able to see them live and stuff, I was really down. I hope I didn't depress you either~ Hope you liked it?