How We Wrote Us

introduction

I loved him deeply. I thought I loved a few people in my life, but I quickly realized that I never truly loved anyone until him. He was my best friend, and it wasn't supposed to be like this. He confided in me, he chose me as his supporter, and he came to me when he needed advice—I was a constant presence in his life once we became friends, and that was our mistake. We devoted so much time to each other that we forgot to draw the line between friends and lovers.

There were many tribulations in our relationship. The first one was we were both males. Although we experienced our love in the twenty-first century, that didn't take away the fear and hatred of the world. We loved each other before it was accepted. We loved each other before same-sex marriage was even allowed. We loved each other as boys, and our love grew as we became men. I haven't spoken to him in almost ten years, but I still love him to this day. Every damned day I think of his blue eyes, his soft brown hair he used to sweep over his forehead when it was considered cool, his suspenders he used to wear, and his smell. Oak and lavender. The most perfect combination.

I don't want to talk about the now. I don't want to talk about how we no longer speak because he's married to a woman and now has a family. I want to talk about the then. I want to talk about who we once were before the world shattered our happiness with hatred.

I want to tell you about when we loved each other deeply. When we were boys before the world ruined us.

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I have a LOT of this story written, and I'm very inspired to finish it, so I will develop an updating schedule—every Monday—as a promise to you all. My new year's resolution is to stick to that schedule!