I woke up in the morning, not feeling like someone was watching me. It was a normal day. I got up from my bed that had no bits of rusty metal in it and went to the kitchen.
"What's for breakfast?" I asked my mother, who has never been convicted for manslaughter. As I asked that, the dog barked a perfectly normal bark that could not be mistaken for the vocalisations of a hyena.
"Cereal" My mother replied in a voice that did not sound like it came from hell, also known as America. I stared at her with my only pair of eyes, her hair, that was real human hair growing naturally from her own scalp, was brown.
I poured milk into my cereal, which had no cockroaches or spiders in it. I placed the spoon in my cereal and ate it through my mouth and not my eyeballs.
After eating my non-poisonous breakfast and getting ready, I headed to my car, which I rightfully owned and whose legal ownership had never been under question or dispute. I went inside and went to my school, that had never, ever been a spot for an underground mafia.
"Hello" My friend who had never cheated on her boyfriend with me said to me.
"Hello" I said back, definitely without saying "I think a cow is a type of fish".
After re-touching my makeup with my non-blood-stained makeup brush I headed off to classes with my classmates who are very much alive and not walking zombies with my teacher who is not a convicted felon. I spent the whole day there.
When it was time to go home, I went back to my legally-owned car which I bought with legal tender money not stolen from a drunk and easy to take advantage person. I drove home without breaking a single traffic law and not running over any 76 year old ladies wearing bikinis.
When I got back home, I did my chores without flooding the house, looked at the non-haunted clock and decided it was time to go to sleep as I was exhausted. I was exhausted from PE, not running from police because I threw a disco ball at epileptic children. I then fell asleep without seeing any sleep paralysis demons and repeated the process the next day, not in a time loop sort of way.
YOU ARE READING
A short story with way too much unneeded clarification
Short StoryI am writing a short story about someone's day with a suspicious amount of unneeded clarification that something did not happen, to make the reader suspicious that it did happen although it is just the writing. This is a gag story I guess. This was...
