4 April, 2019
Screaming, crying, yelling, I haven't done anything else for the last 3 hours. My mom found a small bag with coke in it under my mattress and now she wants to send me away. ''You can't send me away mom, it's not even mine!'' I yelled through the house, walking after her into the kitchen. ''Don't you see? You are 15 years old Naila, you drink and smoke and do whatever the fuck you want. You're failing school, you don't work anymore, you come home every single night at 1AM drunk or stoned, And i won't let this happen. I know you love Zaccaria and all of your friends but I will not accept this behaviour any longer. I am sending you to Aunt Kelly, you are going to graduate there, and no discussion further.''
She was fucking serious, and i wouldn't get out of this. I had to go, I knew that. And even though I'd kill to stay here, I knew my mom only wanted the best for me. She was right, I was failing school and I also was living like a junky.
The whole night I had been writing letters to the person's who were the most dear to me. My mom, my friends, and my boyfriend, Zaccaria. I wrote an extra long letter for him, because I wasn't sure if I was ever going to see him again. I wasn't sure if I was going to see any of my friends ever again. And the thought of that made me sad. (The letter at the start)
It was 4AM, and I knew my mom was going to leave with me at 8, to bring me to the airport. I had to make this last phone call, to hear his voice just one last time and tell him how much I loved him.
''Zaccaria?'' I said, hearing his sleepy voice. ''Yes Naila?'' He asked waking up slightly. ''Listen, I won't make this too long, because I don't have too long. My mom is sending me away to Spain, because I am failing school and she found our coke under my mattress. She told me about it this afternoon and is bringing me to the airport in a few hours. I wanted to tell you that I love you so much, and that you are my life and I will love you forever. I am telling you this now because i don't know if i will ever see you again.'' I didn't hear him. Not a word or a breath, nothing. ''I am sorry, I really am. But i have to end it here with you Zaccaria, maybe we'll run into each other in a couple of years, if we are destined to be together, which i'm heavy convinced of we are, my love.'' I heard him cry, and if he cried you know it was heavy. ''Please don't cry, i love you so.'' I told him, trying to calm him down. ''Please don't go. I won't ever be able to get over you, to get over us, you are the only thing that keeps me alive, please stay.'' He begged me, full of sadness. ''I wish I had a choice, but I don't. Be strong for me Zaccaria, remember what i said. If we are destined to be together, we'll run into each other and stay with each other forever.'' At this point I was crying too, but I had to end the call before I would do things I was going to regret. ''Say it one last time then?'' I asked him, both having a hard time breathing. ''Yes, I love you so much Naila. I will search for you until my last breath.'' He sobbed. ''I love you more Zaccaria. And i hope you find me.'' With that i ended the call, breaking down on the floor.
Things change. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts a lot, and sometimes it's for the best.
