Encanto: After

Feeling Something

Alone and uncomfortable, Álvaro sat on his bed among the lilies, trying his best to wrap his head around his emotions. He looked up at the roof, trying to concentrate on the red, yellow and blue orbs of light that floated above, but they only brightened his feelings even more. Anger, happiness, or saddness?

For so long Álvaro had been the empath who couldn't feel.

Then Camilo came and made him feel... terrible about himself. Plainly, he felt sad...right? That was the emotion that made him react with tears: sadness. It wasn't just someone else's emotion either -That sadness was his to claim.

It'd been a long time since Álvaro had felt so hard about something.

And it wasn't through just food. On a whim, the pictures made their worries flood his mind, as well as the doors, and the locations in the village; even just seeing their faces made a feeling resonate within him, last he remembered.

His mind would tell him that he was much too young to have to vaguely remember emotions, and his tío must have thought the same.

Then again, would it even be right to call himself apathetic? Emotionless? No.

Álvaro was the empath who couldn't feel happiness.

He felt something inside, even if it was only pain. Pain counted as a feeling- Álvaro just tried to suppress it and then labelled it as nothing. There may have been something else too, though.

Would it be right to say he was unsure of his siblings- how they'd feel if they had a gift like his own? Álvaro didn't want Carlos or Desirae to feel so terrible about the power they'd soon obtain. He wanted to protect them from a gift they may not deserve, but he was powerless.

Gift or no Gift, Belle would remain perfect, without having to deal with the pain of the past and the headaches and the mental anguish his terrible Gift caused. Belle would probably always be happy. All he yearned for was a happy switch. At the flick of a switch, if he wasn't forced to feel everyone's negativity: that was his wish; that would be enough.

The truth was that what Álvaro wanted didn't matter, nor did his feelings. Maybe it was just wrong for someone like him to be truly happy, considering how weird he'd been thus far. He was weird. He was an oddity for his unhappiness. Everyone else felt fine, but he struggled so much. What was worse was that being happy didn't even require his gift. It didn't require a gift in general. The townspeople were happy. Bisabuela was happy. Tía Mirabel was happy. Tío abuelo was happy. His siblings were happy.

In the centre of his room, hanging off the ceiling, among all the brightly coloured orbs was the Moon. Silver, glimmering, with all of its craters. Sometimes he felt like the child of the Moon - a pale object circling everyone else, causing waves in his family's life. In all of his mystery, he revolved around the Earth without a say. With a passionless sparkle in his eye, Álvaro looked up at his reflection, and cried.

Álvaro was (not) happy. There was a much more complex emotion he was feeling: wonder, excitement, bliss. He didn't know enough words to describe what he felt as he stood in front of his glowing door. His eyes were still teary from the morning, but bisabuela had calmed him down enough. Still, he braved a smile as his side of the family jumped around him: Desirae trying to grapple Álvaro from Dolores' arms; Carlos gripping onto his brother with his big eyes locked on the camera; Camilo presenting the door with wide arms; Felix doing the same from the other side; Antonio grinning whilst pointing at his nephew; Mariano wiping Pepa's tears of joy in the corner. The camera clicked and a photo was printed.

Everyone's joy had weirdly resonated within him in that moment; an abundance of love was present and he could just tell it was precisely for him. Knowing that it was for him moved him to tears. 100s, maybe 1000s, of feelings were orbiting around him and he could physically feel his heart burst from the pressure - a good kind of pressure. Like the pressure of being an older sibling: Álvaro enjoyed being an example - guiding Carlos on what was good or bad, being there when he was sad or had a tantrum or sporadically needed a hug from him; playing peekaboo with Desirae, cuddling her, playing and keeping her close; making sure his little siblings were happy.