MAMA SAID

It Was Me

Here are the scraps y'all asked for. Will it be short? Yes! Will y'all be upset? Absolutely. Didn't thoroughly edit this. All mistakes are mine and should be looked over.  Happy reading. Happy holidays.

The vast majority of people don't know what hunger feels like. When people say "I'm starving," they mean they skipped breakfast and have an appetite for steak and potatoes for dinner. They say "I'm famished," when they crave an ice cream sundae and get a stomach ache when they eat their fill of it. They think hunger is a feeling you get in your stomach, your throat and your mouth. They think hunger is just craving a taste and texture on your tongue, but they don't know what hunger truly is.

No.

Hunger is when the pangs you feel gnawing away in your gut, the ravenous want you experience when you smell something cooking, the way you can almost feel and taste food on your tongue, consumes your whole body. Your entire body screams for just the tiniest bit of nourishment that it hurts.

Ooh. It hurt so much.

Halle knew of this pain. Her bones recognized the familiar ache slowly grinding away at her insides; gnawing away at her ability to differentiate night and day. In a previous life, a very troubled distant past, the child sat with the aches for days at a time. That's why it was so hard to watch her little sister writhing on the floor as she clenched her stomach. "It hurts," Blue said softly, before peering back at the wooden locked door.

"I'm so so sorry Baba," she whimpered, leaning back weakly against the headboard of the tiny twin sized bed she wanted to forget all together.

How long has it been?

With trembling hands, Blue lifted a plastic cup Mike gave her some time ago to her lips, praying that there was still a drop of moisture left inside. Maybe it was the constant pain or her feeble mind, but she couldn't recall the last time she had tasted water or any decent nutrients beyond the stale granola bars Mike had slid underneath the door. Blue's once healthy form was no more. Her arms and legs felt like they were nothing but skin and minimal flesh beneath it to protect the bone, and her stomach felt like it had distended uncomfortably, as if begging to be filled.

Halle had been unwilling to eat the small amount of cereal bars Mike had for them, prioritizing her sister's needs before her own. In reality, she wanted to rip the fiber filled snack from the child's grip and stuff it to the back of her throat until the weird ringing sound left her ears. She was starving but her six year old sister should never know the pain of a constantly empty stomach or atrophying muscles. The teen sat up, wincing as she clutched her aching ribs. She very slowly, and very, very carefully swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Her legs were wobbly and weak from not having been used in such a long time, and she found that she had a hard time even just standing.

Halle looked around the room more attentively this time, out of her previous daze, and saw the red plastic cup sitting on the nightstand. With shaky limbs she lifted it. She pressed her dried, cracked lips to the rim of the cup and swore when nothing but warm air brushed over them. With fury, she threw the useless object to the floor, and her aching knees gave way too.

Ssll. Ouch!

Kneeling on a heap of strewn toys and playthings, her body too tired to even stand again, Halle kissed her baby sister's head. She couldn't believe that this would be how she left her. Crouching on the floor with nobody to care for her. No doubt Blue would eventually succumb to starvation too, a thought that made her heart ache and tears flow freely down her pale cheeks. The singer took in the dried tears that ghosted her baby sisters' chubby cheeks and neck. Blue had her eyes shut tight, seemingly wishing herself free of this bad terrible place.