From the World: Matt Sturniolo Centric shots

#3. rock on top of the sand, fist amidst the hands

Requested!
TW: argument, anger issues, self-injury; piercing, stabbing, punching.

—

Matt invented an unusual coping mechanism to fight his anger and things that distract his mind. It was a challenge for Matt to maintain everything, whether during recording nor a meeting. His mind often wandered, drifting away from reality, leaving him feeling disconnected and struggling to stay engaged, and he is usually frustrated by his brothers for interrupting him whenever he speaks.

He resorted to stabbing or pinching himself with something sharp; pen, pencil, or pinching himself with his nails—a small tactic that, strangely, helped him regain focus and reduce anger. It was his peculiar way of anchoring himself back to the present moment, the sharp sensation jolting him awake and momentarily redirecting his attention.

As Matt's focus waned during the filming, he resorted to his unconventional tactic to regain concentration—since he folded his arms, a quick, discreet pinch on his biceps that momentarily shocked his senses back to the present.

"Fuck!" he swore under his breath and kept it lowkey while his brothers argued about things, he could feel the sting. However, Chris stopped talking and caught a glimpse of Matt's subtle but peculiar behavior.

"Hey, Matt, everything alright?" Chris spoke out, his tone laced with a touch of concern as his gaze fixed on Matt.

Caught off guard, Matt's heart raced, a surge of panic coursing through him as he tried to play it cool. He quickly glanced at Chris, his mind racing to conjure an excuse for the sudden, secretive action that had betrayed his attempt to stay focused.

"Yeah, Chris, just... can we make it quick and stop fucking yapping nonsense?" Matt replied, his voice slightly outraged as he attempted to mask his unease.

"Relax, Matt. It's not like you have things to say," Nick replied as he rolled his eyes over Matt's moody behavior. It's been days since Matt got mad at the slightest thing as if it wasn't like him at all.

"I do have things to say if you shut the fuck up for once, Nick," Matt added up as he stared at Nick coldly through the rearview mirror.

"Oooh, Mattitude is showing right now," Nick mocked at him.

Matt was that close to throwing his hand at Nick if it was not because Chris interrupted him. Thankfully. "Hey, chill. If things happen, you can always tell me. You know?" Chris retorted once again as his expression remained skeptical, a hint of doubt lingering in his eyes as if sensing there was more to the situation than met the eye. However, he chose not to press further, deciding to let it go for the moment, but a seed of curiosity about his brother's odd behavior had firmly planted itself in his mind.

"Whatever."

—

As they finished the recording, the tension within Matt had reached a boiling point. His mental anguish is shown in outbursts of anger and an overwhelming sense of unease. During their recent car video recording, Matt's mood had taken a darker turn. He started struggling to speak because of the burning sensation in his chest, he kept hurting his biceps to not let his anger explode. That was his only way.

Later in the morning, Matt woke up feeling like shit because he bottled his anger last night. He found Nick in the kitchen with his laptop. "Morning, Matt. Wanna join me?"

Matt shrugged. "Sure." it's not like he had any other things to do instead of getting breakfast. Nick must need someone to do this to and since Chris hasn't come upstairs, Matt was the only choice.

Matt's realization came after he saw the footage with Nick. He saw himself not doing well in the video they recorded yesterday, he couldn't even look at it any further. "This can not be uploaded, let's re-shoot it tonight." Matt's voice darkened as he attempted to halt the screening, urging Nick to delay the upload.