How it felt.

Part 1

it's 12:00 am right now and i am standing by this taxi stand waiting for my cab. I am still in disbelief I am here. In this city 'kolkata' probably feared being here my whole life. I shouldn't name it as fear; honestly I don't have words to describe this uneasiness. to have the thought I might face "him". my thoughts are abrupted by the honk of a car which parked in front of me just now. let me check is it mine or not? the no. is 1987, yup absolutely mine. i get in and have a bit of conversation with the driver for the OTP. I rest back cause my back really hurts from the journey I had. I turn my head to my side and look at the beauty outside. it's really beautiful i wonder why he wouldn't mind leaving this place. as I admire the beauty outside we stop at the red light. it's literally midnight but I guess this place never dies out. my thoughts are interrupted by the driver "first time here mam?" well, I have been to kolkata before but I was very young to remember anything so I just nod in agreement. "you bengali?" I say yes, then he just smiles and keeps driving. in the mean time we reach the hotel. "Taj Bengal" i am really not sure if this was a right decision to stay here. what if I really run into him? what will I do? while I am in these thoughts I get to my room and unpack the stuff. I need to contact Mrinalini, I am here to meet her anyways. This is getting so heavy in my head i swear it'll burst open, I have no idea why I came here in the first place is it really just for a outing or it's him I wanna see for once with my own eyes, be in the same surrounding for at least once before he becomes just a memory, just a story. I sit here with a tired body, confused mind, and a heart who knows nothing on what's next. why did you come in my life? Devin.