However it goes, it ends in pain.

Prologue.

There is nothing of me under the sun Usman doesn't know.

'It's your birthday, I have a surprise.' Usman holds out a red silk blindfold that matches my red silk pajamas.

'A surprise?' I giggled, stepping closer to him to allow him blindfold me. 'The trashy cake you baked was enough surprise for tonight' I jokingly mentioned.

Usman pinched my arm in response, and I yelped. 'Usman'

'A for effort, okay?'

We're back at the accommodation, in my apartment. Usman leads me to the bedroom; from the living room- I can tell.

Through the walk from the parlor to the bedroom, I let Usman guide me, his bodies warmth keeps me comforted, and his strong arms behind me reassuring.

But nothing is as unnerving as his hot, silent breaths on my neck.

'Slow down'

'Turn left'

'Careful'

All in his majestic voice, the waves of them carry through my entire body.

'Amra!' he exclaims as a childish chuckle takes over his words.

'Sorry!' I'd stepped on his toe.

'Okay, stop. Perfect.' He releases me, and walks away, my heart is racing insanely in my ribcage, I can hear the ringing in my ears, my dry throat and teary eyes, all of it lacking Usman's warmth and comfort.

'Take off you blindfold' he whispers.

I take a moment to collect myself, as I feel shivers all around my body.

I have no idea what this surprise is, and I am terrified. He would never hurt me. However, I can't think of anything that Usman would've gotten me that requires a blindfold.

I don't do too well with surprises.

The silk slips down my eyes, and for the slightest second, my mind cannot comprehend the display in front of me.

Red balloons, golden lights, my center table has been rearranged, there are chocolates and flowers, a wrapped box.

The wrapped box gets my attention.

I walk to the setting, Usman is standing there, a look of terror in his eyes.

'Usman.' is all I manage.

'Amra.' He breathes. He's sweating. This is getting weird.

'What's the extra gift for?' I ask smiling slightly.

Picking up the box, I look up at Usman as I unwrap it. 'No bombs' I joke.

He isn't laughing.

'Open me' I pick up the red velvet box, a golden ring band, adorned with ruby and diamond stones. My breath witches.

I shake my head.

No.

No.

No.

Placing back the small box and covering the larger one, I push it to Usman.

His terror turns into anguish.

'Amra' he begs 'Amra please.' He throws the box on the couch and holds my wrist. When I try to wriggle free, he pulls me to him, flush against his chest.

Our foreheads touch, his eyes bore into mine, they're stung with pain, and tears.

'I love you. I have known I loved you since that night I was ill, you took care of me.

You love me too. You do. Please don't do this. Don't push me away out of fear' his voice is breaking. I can count the number of times I've heard Usman cry; one.

'Usman.' I shake my head against his forehead and lick my lips. 'I can't. I can't'

I don't know why I can't.

He's the perfect man.

'Why?' Usman has changed. Hie demeanor oozing anger.

'Because I still love him. I'd be unfair to you.'

'I know you love me, I say holding his jaw, I don't want to lose him. Those months without him, they were awful. 'But your love is too sweet for me.'

'So, you like the way Hameed maltreated you?' he pushes away from me, his eyes full of painful confusion.

'No. No. That's not what I am saying' my eyes soften, and I look at him with a longing for him to understand me.

'Then what are you saying?'

'Let's not ruin it all with this title, our friendship, Usman' referring to the little will you be my girlfriend note that was just under the ring in the box. Also, I never mentioned that I loved him.

'Amra' he breathes in, 'you are being cruel.' Tossing the ring on the table, Usman walks to the door.

'No, no, wait.' I rush clumsily after him.

'I need to be alone, please' Usman does not turn around to look at me. He leaves.

.

.

.

Nafisah.