Chapter 1: Sanity

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I woke up on the ground, dressed in a beautiful completely white dress. I looked around to find... Nothing at all. I looked down and saw nothing but an endless sea of black and I couldn't tell if I was standing or floating. It was all just so surreal and unnerving.
"Princess..." A voice whispered quietly.
I turned to see my father and I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face, the uncontrollable shaking of my shoulders, or the choked sobbing noises I was making.
"Dad I miss you so much... It's so hard without you around," I cried completely breaking down as I hugged him tightly.
I let go for a second just to look at him. He looked exactly like I remembered him. Always smiling, impossibly white teeth, piercing blue eyes, messy blonde hair, and of course his strong arms that always made me feel as if nothing could ever hurt me.
"I love you Princess," he whispered to me as he pulled me in for another hug.
I couldn't help but let out another sigh as I squeezed him knowing that this wouldn't last forever.
"I love you too Dad," I whispered sadly.
"I love you Princess," he said again.
I looked up confused as he repeated those same four words over and over again, continuously without stopping. I closed my eyes and opened them to absolute horror. I stepped out of his embrace as I watched his eyes turn milky white and felt the tears stream down my face as blood poured from his mouth, ears, and his eyes. I opened my mouth to scream but I felt my throat closing up and I couldn't breathe. I collapsed to my knees clawing at my throat and gasping for air.
I woke up screaming at home in bed. A few tears slid down my face as I remembered the horrific dream. Lately my dreams have been getting more and more surreal, as if it's actually happening to me.
I let out a small sob as I angrily knocked the container of sleeping pills to the ground, watching it's multicolored contents roll across the floor. The sadness of my life settled in all too quickly and I did the only thing I knew how to do... Cry.
I was Trish Mayfield the girl who lost her father, Trish the girl whose mother is losing the battle with depression, Trish the girl whose only friend is her therapist, and Trish the girl who couldn't sleep at night unless she took prescription pills for it.
I sat and cried for hours, not moving a single inch as if I would fall apart. I unwillingly dragged myself out of bed for my usual routine. Get up, go to see my therapist, check on my mom, go to work, and repeat the same thing the next day. I put on black jeans and a black hoodie, grabbed my keys, and I was out the door rushing to my car. I was going to be late and I would save time by not eating. I haven't really been hungry lately anyway.
On my way to my therapist's office I noticed that my hands kept shaking no matter how hard I gripped the steering wheel. I've got to get off of those damn sleeping pills. All they've been doing is making things worse!
I pulled into the same parking spot that I've been pulling into for the past two years. I stepped out and practically ran to see Samantha, my therapist and the only person I could ever trust. Of course, like every single day I was stopped by Randy the secretary.
"Hey Trish how's it going?" He asked as he smiled.
"Same as always Randy," I replied flatly as I quickly signed the check-in papers so I wouldn't have to speak to him anymore. Something about Randy just didn't add up.
As I walked to the elevator a man burst out of it, mumbling profanities as he ran out of the building completely ignoring Randy, who was shouting for the guy to come back and sign the check-out sheet.During the elevator ride, I thought about the man. He looked like he didn't belong here at all, dressed in a fancy suit and his hair was flawless. Maybe he was the father of a kid who comes here.
I got out of the elevator on the fourth floor and ran into Sam's office. Sam looked up as I threw myself onto the sofa.
" What do you want to talk about today?" She asked softly.
I sat quietly because I knew she wouldn't force me to talk. That's why Sam is such a good person, she doesn't pry into my business like most therapists would. I sat up straight and watched her move around and look for something, remembering what I had to talk to her about.
"Sam, those pills you suggested..." I said as I fiddled with my hoodie sleeves trying not to cry.
"Yeah what about them?" She said, grabbing a pen and getting to work on some papers that were sitting on her desk.
When she looked up, I completely lost it. I began to cry and shake uncontrollably. Sam rushed over and hugged me, letting me cry on her shoulder. I didn't mind crying in front of Sam because it always felt like she was my second mom. Sam sat beside me and let me cry until my throat was raw and my eyes were puffy.
"I saw him Sam," I whispered, unable to say his name " except he was bleeding a lot and I couldn't breathe."
"It's okay Trish, but you have to take those pills so you can get some sleep," she said as she brushed the hair out of my face " so promise me that you'll keep taking them, okay?"
"Sure," I said gathering my things, unable to continue this conversation " see you tomorrow" I said, walking out of the door.
On the way down to the lobby I quickly composed myself. The last thing I needed was Randy asking me a million questions. I walked to his desk and signed the papers without listening to a single thing he said. I went out into the parking lot and let out a ragged breath, it was going to be a long day.
I got in my car just as it began to rain and tried to mentally prepare myself for the daily visit to my mother's house. Usually it ended nicely and all I had to do was make her a few meals and leave the money for rent. Some days she yelled and some days she didn't speak at all. That's why I had to leave, I hate seeing her like that.
I pulled into her drive way and knocked on her door. I guess she had a pretty bad day if she didn't come to the door. I prepared myself for her loud screams as I pulled out my spare key. I opened the door and gasped.
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That was chapter one! I hoped you liked it and if you have any questions, feel free to message me!

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