Trish Mayfield and The Quest For Happiness

Chapter 2: Chaos

The sight in front of me was dark and ominous. Every item in the room was either smashed into sharp bits or just flipped over. The pale yellow wallpaper was severely chipped and the shiny wooden floor was scratched all over. I cautiously stepped over the broken debris as I began to panic.
"Mom?"
"Mom seriously! This is definitely not the time to mess around or pretend like you can't hear me," I called out nervously.
As soon as I made my way to her bedroom, I realized that not only was the living room trashed, the whole house was. I slowly approached her faded old aureolin colored door, breathing heavily with each step. When I finally reached the door, all the air left my body.
My mother was sprawled out on the molded gray rug she refused to throw out since my dad bought it. Something definitely didn't feel right. Then, I noticed that she was twitching and there was a creamy looking white foam or vomit coming from the corners of her mouth.
I rushed to her side, and quickly flipped her over to check for a pulse. Relief washed over me as a faint Bump Bump greeted my ears. Thank goodness! She's alive!
Slowly, I dragged her into the living room and laid her on the couch. After setting her down, I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I knew too well, 911.
"God mom what the hell were you thinking," I silently whispered to myself.
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I was at the Saranstine hospital in the waiting room casually tapping my feet on the ground until I got some more info about my mother's condition. Apparently, she overdosed and they are trying to figure out what drug she used so I can go to her home later and see if I can find any, so that I could throw it away. It made me want to break down right there in the hospital, but rule number one was to never show my weaknesses to others, it gave them an advantage over me. I will never feel week again. Never.
Instead of calling her own daughter, my mother turned to drugs. This overwhelming regret is making me feel as if I'm useless, and my mom is in a place that I just can't reach. Maybe if I would have tried just a little bit harder to fix our relationship things wouldn't be like this.
The unwelcoming, yet so familiar darkness continued to consume my mind, until every thought was venomous and callous. I thought of how nice it would be to just float away and watch the world from a distance. Would I see a world of compassion? Or would I see the world as it truly is? This world is cruel and unforgiving. The same God that I pray to slowly takes everyone I love away from me. Am I next? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not.

My thoughts fly all over the place until they turn into sharp daggers and aim at the true problem, my dad. Is it possible to blame a dead man for my hardships? I honestly don't know anymore.
"Miss?," a voice asked politely.
With that one world, I was violently torn away from the black landscape I call a mind and put back into the white room that reminded me of nothing but death.
"Yes?," I replied weakly.
"I'm Doctor Zetelle , and Ms. Mayfield the drug identified in your mother's system was none other than an anti-depressant drug called Sertraline and we fe-"
"May I go see her?," I asked as my voice started to rise.
"I'm sorry, but Lea Mayfield was pronounced dead three minutes ago. I am terribly sorry for your loss Ms. Mayfield," Doctor Zetelle said as she reached out to touch me.
I wanted to nothing more than to drop to my knees and lot out an ear piercing scream not only for the loss of my mother, but for everything that i would have to go through all over again but it was as if I was on auto pilot. I got up, thanked the doctor for her concerns and calmly walked to my car and sat silently, waiting for the gravity of the situation to slowly crush me, or bury me in a grave of my own sorrow. For what seemed like hours, I sat in the parking lot staring up out of the window. Not at anyone or anything though, I reflected back on the good times in my life when everything seemed so perfect. Then, dad died. Do I blame him? Of course not, for dad and I did everything together and to have him just snatched out of my life was royally fucked up.
Now, I've also lost my mother, but I'm happy. She finally gets to be with dad again. I wonder if they're thinking about me? Maybe this is a sign that I need to move away from here and have a fresh start. Elona just isn't the same old friendly town that I remember. The only thing for me here is bad memories. There are good ones, but bad always outweighs the good. All I need is time to recollect my thoughts and put myself together so I can go home and tell Sam about my plans. Maybe she'll support my plan, maybe she won't. I really hope she does because I can't do this without her. I hope she might even consider going with me.
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