I spent the last half hour crying, wondering where it all went wrong. Where I lost you and wondering why I couldn't have been better for you.
I spent the last half hour crying over pictures of you, your wonderful smile that always lit up my world, that always made me smile back, no matter what, and that could always make any bad day a million times better.
I spent the last half hour crying because I'm so fucking stupid for losing you, for being such a failure to someone who meant so much to me.
I spent the last half hour crying, because I know that I don't deserve love. Because I don't deserve a second chance. Because I know that, if I deserve anything, its pain, judgment, torment, and death.
I spent the last half hour crying over all the memories we made, all the joy we used to have, the love we shared that was out of this world. Because our relationship was different. We didn't make it something defined by society, we turned it into something so out-of-this-world that we both found ourselves defending it with our lives and honor.
I spent the last half hour crying because everything we had is now gone. You deserve someone better than this fuck-up who destroyed your world out of stupidity and selfishness.
I spent the last half hour crying because I, the man of many words, is finally out of words to say. Nothing I say will be right, nothing I say will make you nor I feel any better, and nothing I say will ever, ever fix this.
I spent the last half hour crying because I had never met anyone like you, because there is no one like you. And now, it's all over. It's gone.
I love you.
