Style one shots- South Park

Kyle's ass

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Stans pov:

Cartman, Kenny and I were all hanging out at the park we play basketball in. We were sitting out on the blue bleachers that gave me several slivers.

"Yo, guys have you noticed how Kyle gets all the girls, but can't even make them stay?" Kenny asks randomly.
"Yeah, cause Jews steal stuff all the time, it's there thing" cartman says, god he's such an asshole.
"What about how Kyle is nice, kind, funny, handsome-"
"Oh! He also has a gigantic ass!" Kenny shouts out cutting me off.

I mean yes, that was nothing but the truth Kyle had a better ass than any girl in our grade! But I know it makes him uncomfortable so I don't like bringing it up, I just stare from afar. That sounded really gay actually.
"I'll admit it, he has a Kim k ass" That was not something I was expecting from cartman!
"Guys let's not talk about his ass y'know it makes him uncomfortable" I say like the amazing super best friend I am.

"I don't see the Jew here, didn't he say he was studying?" Cartman said in defence, which was true he did ditch us to study but that's cause his parents are super strict!
"Yeah, and don't act like you're not always staring at his ass!" Kenny chimes in, damn guess I was less slick than I thought.
I just looked away guiltily.
"I- well! Fuck, yeah he has the sweetest ass." I admitted.

"Oh my god, do you remember when Kyle forgot his gym shorts so he had to borrow some from the school and they were too small. Bebe took a bunch of pictures and sold them to people in our school." Kenny said, I remember they were $5 each angle and a video was $10.

But I didn't like how the kids here use it as if it was some kind of novelty, it's really gross actually.

"Hey Stan, can I ask you a question?" Kenny said looking over at me. "Shoot" I say, what was he gonna ask this time?
"Well y'know how your Kyle's boyfriend-"
"Oh my god Kenny! For the last time me and Kyle are not dating!" I say cutting Kenny off.
I don't even get why so many people think we're dating, like sure I wouldn't be against it, but I know he would.
He's not even gay...neither am I!

"Whatever, anyway have you like...touched it?" Kenny said with a grin. God he was such a pervert!
"Wha- dude no! No, I haven't touched my best friends ass you weirdo!" I say backing up from Kenny as he and cartman just laughed.
"Hey he's just saying what everyone's thinking hippie!" Cartman added.
"You know what I'm gonna go, I don't want to hear about this." I say standing up and heading home.

"Damn what's up his ass?" Kenny asked.
"Kyle" Cartman replied with a sly face.

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