A Drowning Grip (König/Horangi)

A Drowning Grip

[ This fanfic can be found on AO3 under the same name "A Drowning Grip" as well as my name "azyxo" ]

It was clear as day that König was not in the mood to talk or interact with his other teammates.

They had returned back to the KorTac base; all teammates happily in one piece and talking briefly about the mission that had gone well. In König's mind, the mission was a disappointment.

He was a disappointment.

Yes, he was glad that they were all safe and back on base but he hated taking lives unless absolutely needed. König knew he was being a bit unfair to himself and also unreasonable as well. He had been given a clear debriefing of the mission and he knew that there was always something unexpected to happen.

Well, the mission had gone well and all before the moment he rammed down a door and into a stray civilian. The civilian shouldn't have been there and no civilians had been in any reports either so the only reason for the sudden appearance was the civilian finding shelter after hearing the onslaught of gunshots from König and his team. Before König could try to process the situation, one of his teammates had contacted their captain, asking for orders on how to deal with the civilian. The obvious answer had made König's blood turn cold but considering that mission was highly important, they couldn't take any risks.

König's eyes were angry, looking around sharply and landing on anyone who came within his view. In the back of his mind, he knew he wasn't supposed to act like this. Yet, his brain and body weren't exactly coordinated in their thinking.

The turmoil of emotions in his head had him breaking out in a sweat as his lips curled back into a scowl. König forced his legs to move, to follow his teammates to the debriefing room where they would share their reports and the inevitable casualty.

They all made it to the debriefing room with minimal problems...besides the small growl König had made when one of his teammates had clapped a hand on his shoulder and asked if he was alright. That had made his teammates give him worried looks but they gave him plenty of space.

König and his teammates sat down in the chairs surrounding the oval table, their captain in the front of the room. König tried his best to listen in on what his captain talked about and forced himself to chip in on the reports when asked. His captain was no fool and he noticed König's held back fury.

After the debrief, his captain had quietly dismissed the team besides König, who was starting to look like he was going to snap.

"König, I know you know that these missions can take a toll on anyone, no matter how skilled. I expect you to at least act civil despite how you're feeling." His captain said.

His voice was calm but the order in it was firm with no space for protest. König sat there in his chair and nodded, his teeth grinding down until he felt an ache. A silent moment passed before his captain dismissed him and König stomped his way out, murmuring a stiff apology.

König still had one more stop before he could go to his room. He walked silently to the medical branch of the base, his steps loud as he passed several soldiers who moved out of his way when they saw his furious expression. The nurse on duty was quick to bandage König's small cuts on his torso and arms and also quick to usher him out after a few nearby patients had given him wary looks. It seemed like everyone was cautious around König and that only grated his nerves more, his fists clenching as he paced the halls and turned around sharp corners. The pacing only smothered some of his rushing emotions before he started to feel overwhelmed again.