Simpbur x reader

Chapter numero uno :3!!

I open up to my lonesome dark apartment to see my new roommate, Wilbur, standing in the doorway. "Uhh hello?" I query waving my hand gently. He appears to be attempting to hide something, interesting..... "Oh uh!! Hello!!" He says anxiously. "You uhh you feeling alright?" I ask with concern as I drop my keys on the kitchen counter—KLINK! "Uhh yeah..." he says. I open the fridge to be drowned in the blue light and I grab the coca-cola that's been sitting in our fridge for roughly a month and pop it open to hear a small sizzle.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I ask. "Uh.. yea..." He replies "I only have SuperBad on dvd, I don't have cable yet" "Yea yea- that's fine idrc whatever you want!" he says getting more anxious
"Dude what are you hiding?"
"What???? Huh??? I'm not hiding anything? Are you okay, did you hit your head?" He stammered
"Okay, whatever let's just watch Superbad."

(Time skip)

we are now resting on our small stinky couch watching Superbad at exactly 23 volume but Wilbur keeps fidgeting with the volume, causing it to go up and down repeatedly. "Can you stop?" I ask, eyes plastered to the screen. "Uhh yeahhhh sure..." He says with panic in his tone. At that moment I get a Text from my great uncle. "Are you texting other guys?" Wilbur questions with a tinge of anger in his tone. "Nah I'm just texting pop pop, pop pop LOVES pierce the veil. "Oh.. can you mute it?" Wilbur dictated
As I sit there watching the movie with Wilbur, I started to realize more and more that he's a fucking weirdo. The more I kept thinking I remembered about my prized possession in my room. I sprung up and went to go to my room when I felt something tug my shirt, it was... Wilbur... ew.. Watafak...
"Where are you going, love?" He questioned
"I'm going in my room to check on something, why?"
"Oh no, no no, there's no need for that, I could go get it for you?" "I said check, not get. Why are you being so weird?" I questioned "Weird?? I'm not being weird. Why do you need to go 'check' on this thing, why is it so important that you have to leave ME for this thing." He interrogates "dude... it's my limited edition glow in the dark pink meatcanyon dildo. It's my most prized possession.."
Wilbur's heart stopped. Earlier this morning before Y/N got home he was using ITS limited edition glow in the dark pink meatcanyon dildo, when Y/N came home he hid it in the couch cushion.
"OH!!! UHM!! THAT??? I THINK- UH- KRDB- YWAH I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS I DIDNT TOUCH JT." Panicking he sat over the spot where he put the dildo
"Wilbur. Don't fucking play with me rn."

End chapter.