Winterbloom [BL]

Chapter 5: Pondering

Huey wasn't able to sleep too well that night.

After he was abruptly fished out from his deep dive in the sea of self-inquiry, he was faced with Luan's extremely apologetic justifications for why he 'accidentally' took a photo of him for the next. They lasted for about five minutes, after which they went their separate ways around the laboratory to explore their new workspace a little upon Umi's suggestion earlier.

The atmosphere was rather awkward.

In fact, there wasn't really much to be awkward about and the entire photograph thing was already resolved. He had been a little skeptical about the whole 'accident' part of it, but he didn't even think of it as a big deal and couldn't care less. It's not like Luan was going to publish his face without permission anyway, nor did Huey think that far in the first place.

He was focused on more internal issues at that moment. "Internal" as in something within himself.

After the apology speech, as Huey went around the room admiring all its variously coloured luminescent herbs, he was acutely aware that his attention was disrupted. He'd have expected himself to wander this array of gorgeous mini-gardens in absolute awe and intrigue - giving his full attention to the beauty and biotech of it all.

And yet, he realised he was much less focused on the lab - from 99% attention expected down to 55%.

What? Huey's attention span wavered to accommodate something other than botany while he stood in a lab full of plants?

Impossible... or so he would've said if you asked him this anytime earlier. All these beliefs of his  crumbled in those moments when his mind disobeyed his own key character traits.

While feeling extremely out-of-character and being self aware about it, he still continued to be lost in thought while gazing over the glowing herbs; absentmindedly taking in their beauty while also trying to figure out his inner turmoil.
In the end, he calculated to have spent 55% of his energy simply enjoying the vivid scenery with no thought, because as soon as he allowed himself to think - unleashed the dam of thought to flood - he spent the remaining 45% on the emotional issue at hand.

Firstly, why am I imagining myself having silent, happy moments with another person while we hold an overly extended amount of eye contact? -Translation: they were sitting intimately close, looking into each other's eyes alone in the darkness that was illuminated by nothing more than the soft, colourful glow of bioluminescent plants.

Why is this person someone I've literally only glanced at?
-As we know, it was more than just a glance back at the canteen.

Most of all, I am a 22 year old well over my pubescent years -  why am I having hormonal fluctuations right now?
-Emotions are senses induced by hormones in the endocrine system so that's the only way he understood them. Since he was being affected by irregular emotions that he didn't typically feel, he was reminded of mood swings that would usually occur in boys aged 9-16 in their pubescent years.

Don't think too far about Huey's "hormonal fluctuations" - he was only overwhelmed by the fact that he actually found a person 'attractive'. It may sound normal, but Huey hadn't felt any kind of attraction towards anyone since he got over his embarrassing faze of having a crush on a the boy from his dream from when he was five and having him as an imaginary friend.

That faze ended during his tween years when he diverted his full focus towards studying and botany. Afterwards, if he ever thought back to this 'dream boy' (literally) and how he might look in his current age, he was able to suppress the thought and distract himself easily. Plants could distract him from anything.