LIFE, I'M OVER YOU

POV: Gemma

I giggled when i looked at the pregnancy results, i had a boyfriend so who would expect anything less and if my father ever found out, he didn't care less but his reputation, i couldn't even feel my imaginations cause i know it was the end of the road for my education and shelter, i decided to hide it away from my parents cause they were already chaos and my father never like me, he would look at me right in the face and call me A MISTAKE. I would always cry not knowing what to do, sometimes i would feel like running away but i couldn't cause i had nowhere and no one to go to, so i had to bear with the beast i call a father, i couldn't imagine what he'd do to me when he finds out but i just took it to the back of my mind cause the thoughts of that made me shiver. Weeks later, my dad seemed to have found it but he took all the anger on my mom and my only heavily pregnant sister. He threw us all out, i uttered no sound but i begged him on behalf of my sister who was at the point of labour, he ignored after all protest, i fell to the ground and begged him saying "it wasn't their fault, it was mine, you can punish me but leave them both please, they had nothing to do with this", he looked at me and giggled "I've always wanted to do this and this is my perfect chance, seize your light, and that's what i did, first it's you, who knows, it might be your mother next or your sister, so before you ruin my reputation, you better leave", i kept begging him "I'll do anything you want me to do but please spare my mom and sister", he looked at me "you'll do anything", i added again "yes", he agreed, my mom and sister weren't there when we conversed so i didn't tell them anything so they wouldn't worry, it would affect their health, my mom might have a blood pressure which she's already battling with and my sister might stress her mind, so i figured out it would be best for us all if i didn't tell them. My father instructed i get married but that wasn't what he told my mom and sister, he said to them that i would go to my aunt's home to learn a skill and they agreed. On the D-Day, my mom cried a lot and i had to hold back my tears cause she didn't know she'd be seeing her daughter for the last time. A black limo came to pick me up and that brought the thought toy mind that my husband would be rich cause i haven't met him and it would be an advantage cause my child would be born into a wealthy home and she won't pass through what I've been, i kept the thoughts to my mind cause i didn't want to think about the disadvantages. I soon found out that my dad sold me to a man who was in his mid 70s, i tried to break free and runaway but i couldn't. I served him as a slave for months, who knew humanitarian slave trade still existed in England. I was tortured to death, brutally raped by his son's each but i just had to keep going for the sake of my future child, i was accused of stealing a jewelry by one of his daughters and i was flogged almost half to death, i couldn't ever forget that day, After i was flogged, some few minutes later she found the jewelry yet they behaved like i was never flogged, like they never cared, it was only one of my colleagues who had also been sold, but by her husband, she sympathized with me. I couldn't put on with it any longer, i told her that i would leave before she could even reply i ran off to my room and packed the little things i had, i took to my feet. I ran away but yet it was the middle of the night, i was brutally raped, beaten, my belongings were stolen, i wept back to my master's home, i came back and it seemed they noticed i wasn't at home, they yelled and rained abuses on me but even after all that, i never uttered a word, i was flogged yet again but i still never said anything, they all thought I'd gone deaf but that wasn't the case, i was still in my right senses but it was the schock that all this happened to me, a 17 year old, i had nothing to offer in life, i was born out of wedlock so i pretty much didn't blame anyone but myself. I stood on my ground taking all the abuses and insults, Suddenly, everywhere went blank and i opened my eyes to see that i was in the hospital, when i was discharged home, i was asked to kneel in front of my master and his wife, they yelled at me, caned me and threw me out of the house right after. I stole some money and rented a little apartment, on the day of my delivery, i couldn't afford to go to a hospital so i was birthed by midwives. I looked at my life sympathizing with myself, i took into drugs, my child was only a week old when i was diagnosed for cancer but i was happy that she was safe. I took her to the doorstep of my master's house, i knew they were wicked but i also knew that the masters young wife loved children adm would take mine like it was hers, no doubt. I won't wait for death to come to me, I'll go to death instead, i can't run away, today's my 18 birthday and am gonna celebrate it by death. I will jump off the cliff.
Who knew my life would come to a stop so early. Guess it was my fault for being a mistake.

"Am only 18 and i feel like am dying
I'm getting sad too soon
I hope i make cause I'm trying
I've loved and I've lost
And i realised that it's all my fault
Wish someone loved me enough
To catch me when i fall
I know it's kinda selfish but
It's not my choice to leave
Cause i wish i could stay
But it's more of a need
For me to go away

Am tired of the world hating on me
I wake up to the friends that i can't keep
And when the end is near and am asleep
I'll be chasing dreams while counting sheep

When i turn 19, I'ma feel like am flying
I'm in the sky, where am free and smiling
But till then
Things will stay the same
Things will never change

Life will be a mess
And that life i became hopelessly in love
With doing what my brain tells me to do
And: LIFE, I'M OVER YOU