Shutout | Complete

Chapter 24

The light of the morning sun fought through the cracks in Hendrix's blinds when my eyes fluttered open. A haze of what happened the night before leached through my mind. I couldn't help but smile. There was something about the colossal college goaltender that put me at ease. The heat from his body seeped into me, encasing me in a warm hug even from the other side of his bed.

I blinked, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room. The slow rise and fall of Hendrix's broad back was like having a yoga instructor next to me, reminding me to slow my breathing. I timed mine with his, the rhythm of Hendrix's deep, even breaths, tempting me back to sleep.

I willed the drowsiness away with a stretch of my arms. There was the question of breakfast that I needed to answer. Sitting up in bed, my bare feet brushed against the cool hardwood floor as I considered what might be in the fridge downstairs. Had anyone bothered to do the grocery shopping while Hendrix was out of commission? Even if someone had, would I know what to do with the ingredients they did have?

Hopefully they had eggs. I couldn't mess up scrambled eggs, right?

This nurturing instinct had been burning a hole through me since I opened the door to find him alone in the living room the night before. I wanted to do everything in my power to take care of him. It was an odd feeling for me. I couldn't remember another time in my life when I wanted to tend to another living thing in the same way I wanted to care for Hendrix. The nurturing instinct just wasn't something I naturally had, nor did I believe I ever would. I wasn't like Cali, who I often believed cared too much. Sometimes I thought I cared too little. I had put myself first for so long. I didn't know if I could go back.

I glanced over my shoulder, hands resting on the soft mattress. Hendrix lay on the other side of the bed, sprawled out on his stomach, the sheets tangled around his waist. A sliver of light from between the curtains painted his bare back in a warm golden hue, highlighting the contours of muscle. I couldn't help but let my gaze linger.

His body told tales of discipline and determination, hours spent on the ice honing skill. And yet, there was something tender in the way his shoulders relaxed, a silent surrender to rest. It was a side of Hendrix I was beginning to enjoy the most.

Hendrix's lips parted ever so slightly, his hair brushing the side of his forehead as he slept. He was someone I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning. My thoughts grinded to a halt, like I had just been notified of a last minute paper that I hadn't started. Was I actually considering this? Considering us? My heart stuttered. He was everything I'd promised to steer clear of, but now I feared he was everything I ever wanted.

The stillness of Hendrix's room was deceptive, a silent witness to the turmoil brewing within me. With the thought of changing the status of our relationship, I stood from the bed and made my way to the shared bathroom within the hallway of the upper floor. The scent of his cologne and musk stuck to me—overwhelming my senses. It was a mixture that had become synonymous with moments stolen and blurred boundaries.

What was the difference between an actual relationship with Hendrix and what we were doing now? Sure, our dates were just for show. But we spent time together even though Liam wasn't around and—as freaky as it was—I enjoyed it. I skittered to the open door. A night light shining by the sink and guiding me to a safe space to think.

The door to the bathroom clicked shut behind me. I pressed my back to it for a long moment, trying to banish every thought that I had since I woke up that morning out of my mind. Maybe Hendrix and I could make something work, but there was no point in complicating things now. Everything was going so well. I didn't want to screw it up.

I reached for my toiletry bag, searching for some semblance of normalcy, something mundane to anchor me and prevent me from getting too lost in my thoughts. I buried my hand inside, searching for my toothbrush. But as my fingers brushed against the smooth plastic of a tampon wrapper, my heart seized.