A Tale Of Two Halves

Chapter 11

I pull back from him slightly and press my forehead against his. He sighs gently and lifts a hand up to cup my cheek. I would stay like this forever if I could. In his bedroom. On his bed. Warm and safe. The soft and slow strokes of his thumb on my cheek are such a stark contrast to the madness of the evening that I can't help but yawn, the events of the day fully catching up with me.
"Boring you am I?" he says with a smile. I cover my hand with my mouth and lean back from him.
"Sorry," I say. "Long day. You wouldn't understand," I tease as another yawn fills my lungs. He rises from the bed. Reaching down, he pulls me towards him and lifts me easily up into his arms. I gasp. This is the closest I have been to a boy before and the intimacy of the gesture is almost too much. He freezes.
"Sorry," he frowns, but before he can put me on my feet, I shake my head.
"Please don't." I lean my head against his chest and I can feel his heart beating against my ear. I lift a hand and place it over his heart. Another yawn escapes.
"Let's get you to bed," he says softly.
"But I don't want this evening to end," I say, even though I can already feel my eyes growing heavier. He moves to the head of the bed and uses one arm to pull back the covers, the other still tucked under my knees. He lays me onto the bed and pulls the duvet up over me. I have never felt a bed this soft before. Christ. My bed is like a pile of stones compared to this.
"We'll push it to your room first thing in the morning," Hardin smiles and I realize I must have spoken out loud. He brushes a loose strand of hair back from my forehead and his expression turns sad.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"This is where you should be every night. In a comfy bed. Warm. Happy. Safe. I hate that I couldn't protect you tonight."
"I am happy. And safe. Most of the time," I add when I see he is about to interject.
"And right now I'm certainly warm," I say and exaggerate snuggling down into the mattress. He smiles.
"Good night Tessa," he says, but I grab his hand as he begins to turn away.
"Where are you going?" I ask, tugging him gently back towards me.
"To the sofa?" he responds and I shake my head.
"Stay with me. Please," I say with an embarrassing amount of desperation in my voice.
He looks down at me. "Tess," he sighs gently as he runs a hand through his hair. "You've had a traumatic day, you're exhausted and vulnerable, probably not thinking very straight right now."
"Please, Hardin. Don't leave me. I haven't slept alone since I was 7," I beg, realizing I don't think I'd even be able to sleep without the sound of someone breathing next to me. For years I have fallen asleep with Elsie's soft breaths lulling me to sleep. Elsie. She'll surely be wondering where I am. My stomach drops as I finally remember where I am. What I am. My heart starts to beat faster and I realize I shouldn't be here. I should be back in my cold and cramped room, lying on my bed of stones. I don't belong here. This isn't my life and it never will be. If anyone found out I was here. If a Rich found out. Jesus Tessa you'd be dead you idiot. What the hell am I doing? I feel as if I am waking up from a dream, my brain finally catching up with my actions. My hands begin to shake as I finally take in the weight of my situation. I'm in a Richs house, in a black T-shirt, lying in their bed. Shit. Shit shit shit. My chest constricts painfully, my breath quickens and I start to hyperventilate.

Hardin immediately drops back onto the bed and takes my face into his hands. "Tessa, Tessa, calm down," he says, forcing me to look at him. His eyes are filled with worry and I try to ground myself by focusing on how beautifully blue his irises are. My chest continues to heave up and down and I put a hand against my heart, trying to force it to slow down.
"It's ok. You're ok. I'll stay. You're ok. Breathe," he says and his thumbs start tracking small strokes across my cheeks. I inhale and exhale sharply as he repeats his previous words over and over, gently anchoring me back to him with his voice.
When I finally feel like I can breathe again, I sigh deeply and try to think rationally. If I go home now, I can tell Elsie most of the truth without arousing suspicion. Hardin saved me from Jared by punching him and I helped him clean his hand up. I'm sure she'll be full of questions but I'm used to that with Elsie. It's fine. Everything will be fine.

I make to move out of the bed and Hardin gently stops me.
"Are you ok?" he asks, his voice full of worry.
I nod. "I'm sorry, I never should have come here. I need to go home before anyone finds out."
"Tess, it's far too late for you to be going home. Please, just stay. I'll stay," he says and I immediately feel guilty for putting him in this position. I'm not the only one who'll be screwed if anyone finds out where I am.
"Elsie, she'll-," I start.
"I'll have you home before she wakes up. I promise. You need to get some sleep. Please. I'll stay," Hardin repeats again.

I feel the fight leave my body and I lean back against the headboard. It seems like a lifetime ago that he saved me from Tom's house. I feel like whatever bizarre friendship we had going on, it's changed irreversibly into something different now. Into what, I'm not sure. My brain struggles to organise the events of the evening. Hundreds of words, tiny facial expressions, gentle touches, hesitant caresses whizz though my head and if I wasn't so tired, I'd probably be freaking out right now at everything that has happened with Hardin tonight. I'm still a girl after all, lying in the bed of a gorgeous Rich boy. But as it stands, I'm fucking exhausted.

"I'm so sorry Hardin. Christ, what a mess," I say, putting my face into my hands.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Tessa. Nothing. This whole place is a mess and it's not because of you. You are the best thing about this place," he says and my heart is back to somersaulting in my chest. I can't stop the grin that forms on my face and I add the words to the chaos going on in my head. I wish I could stay like this forever. Wearing Hardin's T-shirt, warm in his bed where no-one knows where I am, with his sapphire eyes staring into mine.
"Stay here," he says and slips away from me.

When he returns, he's holding a glass of water in one hand and a cushion from the sofa in the other. A blanket is tucked under his arm.
"Here," he says, passing me the glass. I take a drink and pass it back to him. He takes a drink himself and sets the glass onto the bedside table. He sets the cushion down on the floor next to me and lays down on the ground. I reach a hand down to him and he grips it lightly with his own.
"Goodnight Hardin. Thank you for saving me," I say, already feeling my eyelids fluttering closed.
His voice sounds very far away when he whispers, "Goodnight Tess. You're the one who has saved me."