His scars were heavy and so were the eyes of pity on him. The darkness that had enveloped his life was too scary but he couldn't say it out loud. There was so much that he had but little that he could actually call his, be it things or people.
But...
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The silence was peaceful. There was this strange comfort surrounding his form ever since the revelation. He felt ecstatic for the things happening in his life. Happiness was slowly seeping into his once dreary and broken soul, making it feel whole again.
But that scared him too.
Should I be this happy? Do I even deserve all these good things? What if everything gets snatched away from me once again? What if he leaves and I'm left in those shadows again? He couldn't help but ponder over such questions. The fear slowly seizing every cell of his body and making him sink deep into the ocean of his tormenting thoughts.
"What's wrong son? Are you not going inside?"
The boy looked up, startled by the sudden presence. "Ah....I'm sorry. I....I don't pray. I just came here to sit in the garden. The flowers are beautiful. It's okay, right?" He stuttered. His ebony eyes filled with anticipation.
"Absolutely. This garden is for everyone. What's the point of growing such beautiful flowers if people can't come here to admire them! Take your time." The old man laughed. His wrinkled face a contrast to the new blooming life of spring. A beautiful contrast.
"Thank you Father. I'm Jungkook. It's really nice to meet you." The younger smiled. A calm taking over his body since the horrendous thoughts had ceased for the time being. A new distraction attracting his entire attention.
"I'm Father John. A very curious old man. Do you mind if I join you here? There's no one inside so I might as well sit with a handsome young man like you and have a good conversation." He asked and took a seat on the bench once the younger shifted a little to give him some space to sit.
"Would it be wrong to ask if the reason behind you not praying are the scars on your arm and neck or are you an atheist? You can always choose not to answer my silly question. Although let me let you, the people who know me always say that if I was not a priest, I could have been a really good psychiatrist."
Jungkook sucked in a deep breath. He suddenly didn't feel so confident anymore. Yes! He was wearing a half sleeved T-shirt but that's how far his self confidence had proceeded. He still didn't know how to tackle direct questions and comments on his body. The boy had a long way to go.
I have to start somewhere. Maybe today is the day. That thought crept into his mind and he couldn't help but agree to it completely. "I'm not an atheist." He started. "I do believe in him but I've never prayed. I still respected him but after these scars I only have hate for him in my heart."
"Why?" The priest inquired.
"Because he abandoned me. I have never done anything to harm anyone Father. I used to thank him for everything in my life but he still decided to be so cruel to me. I don't know if he will let me be happy or not. What if he takes away my peace again? What if he takes away my new dream? He has already done it once. He can definitely do it twice. I am so happy these days but will it even last?"
