no body, no crime

The funeral

Her screams are going on repeat in my head. Except, I was not there. She was murdered. Sadie, my best friend was murdered. I don't know who did it, no one knows

I'm on my way to her funeral right now. The rain noises landing on my umbrella are loud, but not as loud as her voice talking to me in my head. "Amelia do you remember that one time when we went on that field trip with our class, and Andrew fell right into the mud puddle?" she says, and then bursts outs laughing.

A tear is falling from my eye down my cheek. "Amelia, are you okay?" my mom asks me. She is walking by my side, and I can see that she is trying to ignore the heavy tension in the air. "I'm fine I guess", but I'm not. My best friend just died! I start crying a lot. Tear after tear. My mom is trying to ignore it. I know she can hear me sobbing. Now don't get me wrong, my mom is super loving and caring. She just wants to give me some space. That's what I told her last night during our argument.

As we arrive to the church, I finally get myself to stop crying. Well the mascara that I did this morning was apparently just a waste of time. Now it's just smudged all over my face.

Right before we enter the church, my mom stops me and asks, "Are you ready sweetie?" No mom I am not. At least that's how I feel. However, I don't want to miss Sadie's funeral, so instead I answer with "yeah mom I think so". Well it's not true but I just want to say goodbye to Sadie for the last time, and get this over with.

The first thing I see when I walk into the church, are the flowers hanging from the ceiling, and the lifted pulpit. Me and my mom are looking for somewhere to sit and thinking that it's a funeral for a person with a small family, there are lots of people. We decide to sit down in one of the rows in the back, as we want her family to be able to sit at the front. For now, we have the whole row to ourselves, which is nice. Then I can cry as much as I want, without people looking at me. I've always been known as strong and confident, but that is not the case right now. Right now, I feel weaker than ever before. Sadie was everything to me. The one I came to when I had and argument with my parents, the one I came to when I just needed a good laugh and, the one I came to for help with boys. It was usually me who needed the help and who was in love, but I still remember when she fell in love for the first time. We were 13 and she fell in love with a guy named Jacob. He was in her English and history class, and they would always sit next to each other during those classes. Every time that she would come to my house, she would spend hours talking about him. That was 3 years ago now... they broke up, right before -the incident-. I'm pretty sure that he is at her funeral right now too. I start looking for him, and there he is! He is sitting a couple rows in front of me. They were dating and if they didn't break up, 3 months ago, then next month would have been their two and a half year anniversary. August 1.

A guy (around my age) sitting down next to my mom and me is interrupting my thoughts. He gets himself comfortable, and then he greets us with a "hello!" I look up with my eyes red from crying, and answer with "hey", my mom just says "hi". He lifts his hand up for me to shake it saying "my name is Ethan, yours?" I lift my hand to shake his, saying "Amelia, nice to meet you". I accidently lock eyes with him for what feels like an eternity. Still holding and slightly shaking his hand, I think to myself: wow, he is actually handsome. I see his lips forming a smile, as if he could hear my thoughts.

I break the eye contact and let go of his hand, as I look down in embarrassment. He then greets my mom. As they both stand up in front of me to greet, I look up at Ethan again. Just looking at him gives me butterflies. As they sit back down, Ethan catches me staring at him. I can feel my face getting red, it's not just my eyes anymore. He smirks as he shakes his head, and sits back down.

Then the awkward silence begins.

I let out a small sigh, thinking it wouldn't have been so awkward if it just had been my mom and me.