LIMELIGHT

07.

Mew already went back home after staying at Tul's place for almost a couple of hours, eating and playing at the man's welcome home party. Did he enjoy it? He isn't quite sure.

"So, you're jealous?" Davikah asked over the phone.

Mew doesn't really know who to talked and share his feelings with. Tul and him had been hiding their relationship that only a few close people knows it which make things seems harder for him.

"No. I'm not." He answered, firm yet conflicted.

A static noise from the other line was heard, Davikah's probably doing something while talking to him.

"Are you sure?" Davikah teased before laughing softly which made Mew pout to himself.

"No."

Davikah sighed, understanding his friend's predicament very well, "You know what, Mew. Talked it out with Tul. You don't have to shove away your emotions just because that's what the industry taught us."

Mew paused, he knew it but at the same time getting really anxious with just the thought of saying all of what's inside his mind.

It's easier said than done.

Mew snuggled his face under his pillow as both he and Davikah said their goodbyes over the line.

A notification on his phone made his body jolt in surprise, as he swiped the screen on, he saw Tul replying on Max' Ig story. That left a bitter taste on his mouth. He threw his phone to the other side of the bed and closed his eyes forcefully.

The next day felt undeniably colder than normal, probably because of the heavy clouds forming on the sky and covering the sun or perhaps it was just because of the weight of his anxious heart.

"Are we alright?" Tul asked as they sat on an empty seat across each other in a not that popular ice cream shop.

Tul just knew where to bring his boyfriend when he's acting down. But it seems like, it is more than just a 'wake-up-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed' feeling.

Mew took a small scoop of his ice cream before nodding his head with a smile, "Yeah. Is there something wrong?" He lied. The courage he had with all the realization the other night or with all the bravado he did in NY, everything faded into thin air.

The slight feeling of Tul slipping away from him as he saw him with Max again, turned a turmoil inside him.

Tul flicked his tongue in annoyance, "There's obviously something wrong." He said almost knocking-off the ice cream cup with his hand.

"I told you there's not. Why are you insisting that there is?" Mew's voice raised a little. The disbelief on Tul's face made Mew avert his eyes. Why can't he just tell it to his teerak directly? He's jealous of Max.

They both turned silent, the ice cream slowly melting like it is also affected with the tension between the two. A foreign woman suddenly came to them, oblivious of the air between the two man.

"Hi! Excuse me. I'm a fan of the both of you." She giggled.

Mew smiled same as Tul. "Can I take a picture with you?" She added, pertaining to both the man.

Tul nodded, "Tho can we do it separately? We don't have a series or anything to promote together so I think it's much better that way."

Mew bit his inner cheek, trying to suppress his annoyance.

"Oh. Okay." The woman answered.

After a couple of minutes, the woman was finally able to have a photo of her with Tul and a separate photo of her with Mew.

"If you don't mind, can you please post it after a month?" Tul asked politely. The woman giggled before agreeing and promising that she'll keep the photo to herself for a month, saying her thanks then leaving.

"A month?" Mew asked bitterly. Unable to control his seeping emotion.

"That's just enough for people to not notice it or if they pay attention to it, it won't be that much." Tul answered almost barely audible which made the other sarcastically snicker.

Mew nodded, the disappointment in his eyes was masked by the fake smile he flashed, "Well, that's true." He answered before scooping another load of his ice cream and taking it in his mouth.

Disappointment, jealousy, a lot are piling up inside his chest but as his eyes wander off around Tul's face, the way his lips quiver as he savour the ice cream, the way the tip of his nose blushes with the coldness of it: everything warms Mew inside.

"Can I come over to your place today?" Tul asked softly with his eyes lingering on the ice cream, adamant on fixing whatever their problem more privately.

Just one word and he's all over his knees for Tul again.

Does Tul know how easy he can create a mess inside him but at the same time fix everything up like nothing happened without doing anything? He wonders.

Once again, he shoved everything deep inside his chest, burying it in him like a coward.

Mew looked at Tul's ring finger for a second before returning his gaze back at the blonde's face. He just adores him dearly.