A kiss of D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ Love

1

Phoenix

Before being Elise, i was Ibb Rutherford, a girl like any other... With homicide fantasies.

At school i never stood out, not for not attracting attention (well, yes). Just having high notes it wasn't something i saw a reason for.
I preferred to keep a low profile in front of others, and almost everything i did i planned it.
I knew what i was doing, what i do it for and why i was doing it.

I had "romantic" relationships, yeah, but none lasted more than 3 months, and i had a maximum of 2 friends, and that's 'cause i didn't consider those people as assholes as the others.

I use to have a diary where i wrote all i fell for the others; my impulses, wishes, and possible plans that i wouldn't carry out (then).

And here a little fragment:

May 19th

A boy was bothering me non-stop, i ignored that human waste as i always did, although there was something in him that mades me wanting to take his neck and left him without air, take a scissors and nail them with force in one of his eyes, take a compass, fitting the metal tip tightly into the back of the hand with which he pulled my hair, but unfortunately, all i was able to do was slap his hand and say, "Let go of me idiot". It was a fucking headache close his mouth, he said just stupid things, although it can't expect anything from such an inferior vermin with a brain full of so much shit.

That's just a little part of what i used to pass through my little 11 year old mind.
Besides other things, i used to write the hate i felt for some people, that little by little became an anger accumulated inside me, taking me to the same old vicious circle.

When i was 16, i lost my parents, due to the debts my absent and stupid father accumulated when he goes to betting at the city casino.
He dragged his wife and children with him (yes, i had a brother younger for one year).
But i always plannee this, i've been waited for this eagerly, i wasn't stupid, i always knew the trouble my father got into, but i never intervened, cause i wasn't interested in my father nor his problems, i had no empathy with him or with anyone, always saying "it's not my problem" and "i don't care what happens to him if it has nothing to do with me"

I didn't care that much that they've murdered my parents, nor the place i could run away to, due to i had planned everything years before, i had a supposed death, a new life, so it was; i prepared a silicone doll for the morgue.
Then, with the help of contacts he had met long ago, i was able to travel to a forest in Connecticut, a little away from society, where i found a little raven and i decided to breed him not like a pet, but also as a companion.

I had a change of look (in this case it was just a very realistic wig and pupils) and i even changed my name; Ibb had died, but Lys... She was more alive than ever, i had achieved a life that, this time, i wouldn't live only with fantasies.

Elise was the phrase "you have to die to live" in the flesh, and this had been her rebirth.