They say separation makes the heart grow fonder, though it becomes for needy, and obsessive for him. Zade Pierce has craved her for years, even all the while she was in his little brothers arms. Though not this time, Ivy Johnson isn't in were they...
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I don't know what to do, whether to cry or wonder if he is up and doing the same. Wondering about me, thinking about me or just doing nothing at all. My parents after school, just about three hours ago, told me that they have sold the house that we own in our small town in California, and that we are moving to a bigger town in the state of Idaho. I'm only 17 years old. This next summer is or was supposed to be the best summer of my life.
I was supposed to spend this summer with all of my friends having fun going to places, staying up all night; or going to the mall all day and shopping. Whereas now I have to go to a state where some of our close family friends live. My family is only moving to this stupid state due to the fact that they are there. The people we met almost everyday when I was younger went to church, two sons along with a stay at home mom and a fully working dad that owns his own company. I only know the fact due to the numerous bragging sessions the boys would put in my face when I was younger.. Though that's besides the point, multiple of the people we know have gone to Idaho to stay also, I just didn't know we were next. The family that I mentioned a bit ago, that family stuck with mine; but mostly the two sons.
One of the sons is about my age, he's tall and handsome with slightly darker hair then his older brother.. His brother though, the one that grapples me in, and is about 2 years older; as well as is taller than anyone in his family. The town that we are moving to is well sized, as my parents must have described it. My life is going to be ruined. Imagine going to a strange town when your 17 and living there for the rest of your highschool days, no sorry, in a whole different state; my social life is going to be in the grave.
I'm sitting in my room right now admiring the room that I'm going to be leaving in the next week; can you believe that a week is the notice that my parents gave me. The notice that I have a week to pack up my life and my room that I have spent every minute in; through the hard times and the good times. I can't get my head around the idea of me moving, especially to where he lives.
"Evelyn, there's some boxes to put some of your stuff in outside of the door for you." My Mother says from outside the door in the hallway. It's done isn't it? The new house is some states away and I am already packing up my life. I may be sounding dramatic but it's the truth isn't it? I have no one in that state, well no one I like in this case.
I walk out of my room to find the boxes my mom mentioned that she placed outside of my door. I pick them up and carefully set them on my bed, I look towards my walls ready to pull the picture and many memories I made in this town off. I looked at the tickets of concerts I went to with my friends, posters of my favorite movie, but maybe I'll start on the many vinyl records I have to pack up. Instead of either, I picked up my headphones and walked towards my bathroom with a box in hand.
I start with the many skincare and self care items in my bathroom. My dad opens the door slightly, "Are you doing good?" He said quietly, "I know this is a major change". I turn towards my dad "I'm okay, I think" I take a deep breath. "I'm just packing some of my stuff right now." My dad looks at me "Okay honey, well I'll just be out here."
It's an odd feeling I think, to just pack up your life so quickly and pack away the numerous memories that you have into boxes and just move and leave behind the place where so many things happened in your life. I've looked at the new house that my parents bought in Idaho on Zillow, it's cute and stuff but I don't know; it's not this house.
The house I would come home to after a long day at school or a friendship break up; those are the worst. I would come home and take advantage of being in this house for another day. The cuff marks on the wooden floor from our running around the house. Or our marking on the trimming of the door to show everyone that entered how big we are getting and how we were going to be "big girls' ' soon. Though that time has come I guess. In a lot of peoples eyes I'm already grown up and ready to leave. To leave this house and the small memories I had in this house behind. I'm not ready.
"Hey honey," My mom said, quietly opening the door. "Are you okay?" I knew what she was doing, and the only thing I thought about was if my dad, Rod, put my mom solely up to this.
"I'm okay, Dad already asked the same thing just a little while ago. I'm just packing things up." My mom takes a second to look at all the empty walls with wide eyes. I've always had messy walls with posters, stickers, pieces of paper with my drawing on them. Ever since I could walk and pick up a crayon I started drawing on the walls, my mother always said. In my defense though they looked too boring, I mean who wants only white walls. "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen your walls so," she sighed "blank. "
Just then my dad calls for my mom. "Hey sweetie, which box do I put the vase your mother bought us for our 1st anniversary?" My mom looks back at me "I know this is hard but you're doing so good, keep doing the good work." My mom walks out of my room and into the master bedroom down the hall to help my dad. I don't know what to do next. Do I do my closet, my drawers, or my things around my room. My mom said I'm going to get the massive loft room upstairs which will be cool right? When I was little I always raved about wanting to get a loft room or bunk beds. I mean who as a kid didn't you? I think this will be good for me, right?
Though no it can't be. It can't be good for me to just leave everything I have built here, my friends, the memories I have made. Another question circulates my mind, why now? This could have been years upon years in the making tough all of the sudden right before summer my parents decided to do this now? To me it doesn't make any sense.
My parents have always been odd in that sense, kind of just going with whatever life takes them. Not in the way that's the stereotypical hippies or nomads. Just where they don't really mind if something comes their way that in other people's mind may be a bad thing whereas to them it's just another day.
It used to piss me off as a kid, telling them bad news like my friend not wanting to be associated with me anymore, or a bad grade on a test. They would almost brush it off as if it didn't matter; I never had fully understood that it wasnt that they didn't care. It's just their way of living to not focus on the bad stuff, and to just keep moving. They would always say, "There's no use looking to the past." Though now I understand where it's coming from and that's just where their morals lay; it just confuses me how they can take things so delicately like they don't see the domino effect some actions have on different things.
I take a step back at the progress I have made in the past couple hours of me now working on my room and it is looking good, just empty. You never fully see your room empty, at least I didn't. Im messy, super messy where clothes and makeup is all over on my shelves and any flat surface I can find. It's weird and odd, and most of all? I hate it.
I hate it so much with passion. I do not want to leave. I do not want to leave my friends and my life behind. Everyone that tells you that if you move you just have to try and connect with your friends to keep in touch with them are lying. No one reaches out, no one really cares either. No one notices you're gone until 20 years later looking through albums with their kid, when they point out, "Who is that?". They'll probably just respond with a "I don't know" and move on.
Along with that thought I am done. I am done with my room and everything seems to be squared away. My life is all packed up in boxes and the rest that isn't packed up is to be with me to survive these next days in my empty room, and to also be put with the movers in the truck. One thing about me as well? I fucking hate change. I hate the moment of it all and the uncertainty of it. I don't know if I will be fully comfortable with the change, so I just immediately reject the idea of it. I don't fully understand how people can just deal with it. Deal with the fact that things are changing and it is completely out of your control.
The truck outside moves to a stop, telling me that my stuff is ready to be taken to the new house. That this is one. Of the last times I'm going to be in my room along with all my stuff. I'm moving across states and I have no control of this change.
This change, I can tell something is going to come. My gut is almost rarely wrong, and the feeling I carry with the thought of this move is weird. Something dark is coming and I know nothing in my power will be able to stop it, to stop them. It's going to come for me and envelope me whole, and no matter where I run. Where I go, it will follow, and never let me go.
