Dazey, not Daisy, Dazey.

My teenage angst has a body count.

Journal POV

My names is Dazey, not Daisy, Dazey. I don't know why it's spelled like that because my mum didn't live through birth to explain it but it's the name she wanted so it's the name I got.
I wish i got to know her but my dad said that she was wonderful and that her name was Loreign but everyone just called her Laney.

When I was born my father took care of me, he was the best. We struggled a lot for money but whenever we saved up enough he took me on these amazing roadtrips, he called them our special adventures. Roadtrips used to be my favourite thing before the world colapsed. I spend all my time on the road now and I hate it so deeply that it makes me wanna be able to stab just the concept of road. I still love the memories me and my father had. He was saving up for my sweet sixteen so we could go across the border to USA and see NYC. It's too bad that money doesn't mean shit anymore.

My father died in a car accident when i was 13, a week before my 14th birthday and about half a year before the world colapsed. I was in the car with him. He was in the drivers seat of the car and I was in the back behind the passengers seat. We had family a days worth of driving somewhere else and my dad had just graduated med school so we were moving back. My dad said it would be just like one of our special adventures.

A big logging truck crashed into the front of the car, it took off the entire engine part of the car. My dad was closest to the front and so i saw him. He was horrible to see in that moment, he didn't look anything like before. I mainly remember the blood, there was blood everywhere. Before all of this happened my dad had scars, not narly ones like the ones i got from the crash but ones that you would probably think were just birth blemishes like how some people have a cleft palet. After it happened his entire face was covered in huge cuts but the biggest was on his left side of his chest, the side i couldn't see. Something from the big logging truck flew into the car and tore open his side and his guts almost spilled out. He was dead by the time the ambulance got there.

After that my uncle derek took me in, he already had 2 children and a wife. His kids names were Colin and Meranda but we called her Mera for short. His wife's name was Stacy but she prefered being called Stace. I was the oldest out of the three of us. Colin was one year younger while Meranda was three years younger then i was at the time.

I stayed with them for six months and within the first week of my stay they took me to a 'special doctor' and she said I had this thing called 'selective mutism' which is fucking stupid, I just hated people and didn't see the point of talking to them unless I had to or cared about them. They said it was basically the same thing but whatever I guess. They diagnosed me and made a 'compromise' with me, either I had to talk to at least five people a day or I could learn sign language. I chose sign language because fuck talking to people I don't give a shit about.

I got semi-fluent before the world fell.

Sometime during the half a year i developed addictions. Sometimes Derek would even buy my shit for me and most of the time i didn't even go to school. Derek didn't really give a shit, he was usually just as doped up or as drunk as i was. The only thing was that every night he'd come home from the bar or where ever he was and beat the shit out of stace or me, never touched the kids tho, so theres a plus side.

Stace kinda just kept the house running while Derek was out drinking, I guess I took advantage of that so I could go out too.

I basically just spent half a year drinking, getting high, going to parties, couch surfing, passing out on the streets or in public bathrooms, doing anything other than going to school and only going back to derek and them every other, other day.

It began like a month before school, I was going to be starting grade 9. My aunty was pushing me to make friends before school started so she dropped me off at the mall. After some awkward Hi's and Nod's I bumped into this stranger that looked like a highschooler. That stranger turned into my ride or die within 2 weeks. Gradually they introduced me to all of their friends and I became real good friends with all of them.