Betrayal

Chapter 10

It's a blisteringly hot day. I can feel it just from the air the wind brings in from the balcony doors. There's not a cloud in the sky and the ocean is endless. It's a view I've come to enjoy more than I had ever expected to.

I had hoped to be in the pool. But as I sit on the bed in Dominic and mines room, I can hear the sound of Warren swimming. Water lapping and splashing as he does laps. I peeked out only once and sat back down before he could see me. He didn't come and ask if I wanted to practice with him, but I already knew he wouldn't. It still stings.

An image of yesterday comes into my mind. It hits me so swiftly in the stomach, and between my legs, that I have to close my eyes. I've never felt anything like... this. It's a gnawing, aching, deep feeling that washes over my body totally and completely. It's accompanied by a full body feeling of nausea.

I want him. And knowing he wants me, too, makes it that much harder. He said he wants to fuck me. He said it. If I were a different person I would pursue him. But I can't. I've never had much confidence in myself and my self esteem is the same as it's always been. Nonexistent. It's never been within me.

I've been telling myself I must be attractive for a man like him to want me the way he so obviously did. This is a man who has everything. A beautiful wife, beautiful children, who's at ease with himself, and is devastatingly handsome. And he nearly made me finish in the woods. If I were unattractive would he have done that? I don't think so.

I can't stop thinking about it. Every sound and touch, the taste of him, the heat between us. Fuck.

I wrap my arms around a pillow and pull my knees to my chest, sigh heavily, and shudder. There's that sick feeling again. That fucking gnawing. This isn't good. In no way is this good. I'm going to be in this house with him for two more months. I should go home. I could tell Dominic I'm homesick for my shitty little apartment and leave, break things off with him, and never see him again. Or come up with some other lie and run for the hills, far and away from all of them. Except Lola. I couldn't give her up. She's my rock.

And she'd be devastated if she knew what I've done with her father. I know she'd have to choice but to end our friendship and never speak to me again. I wouldn't say a word because I know I'm wrong. It's all wrong. I just want to stop it, stop my feelings, but I can't. Something's wrong with me. I've always known it, always felt it, but this is the first time it's been so black and white. Something's wrong.

"Hey."

I quickly roll onto my side to see Dominic standing in the doorway of the bedroom. My heart is racing and has jumped into my throat. It's the guilt. But I force a smile at him when he smiles at me.

"My mom made breakfast. Hungry?"

I am, but not for food. It's a different kind of hunger altogether and it makes me feel even guiltier. I've never felt these things for him. I should just tell him now that I can't do this and I have to go. I just have to fucking do it. Now.

"Sure," I whisper, betraying my mind. "I'll be right down."

He nods, lingers for a moment, and then he's gone. I sit up and listen. I don't hear anything except the crashing of the waves from the ocean. Not the pool. I can differentiate the sound now. And that means Warren's probably inside somewhere, likely sitting down to eat breakfast with his family. I came straight up here after we got back and haven't seen his face or spoken to him. I'm sure I'm the last person he wants to see right now.