In a dimly lit kitchen, a stove flashed the time of day on its own clock. It displayed the time as 2:34, but had been set an hour behind due to a certain blue numbers protests of daylights savings.
A shadow crossed the kitchen, seemingly displaying what seemed to be someone holding a knife. To what was it for though? Murder? Violence? Stealing some guys 20 cents by mugging him and then just getting angry because he was so poor and you just stab him because why would a poor person want to live? Then again a lot of people don't really want to live, do they.
Returning to the shadow, it makes its way slowly through the kitchen and opens the fridge. Inside are 5 packs of eggs, hot glue gun refills, milk, butter, basic fridge things. The thing the shadow had their attention fixated on specifically was a bowl of dough, the same dough they'd been making earlier. Swiftly and Silently, the shadow nabs the bowl and slowly, verrrry slowly shuts the door of the fridge.
Making their way to the main table of the kitchen, the shadow places the bowl of dough on it. The bowl is covered by about 5 layers of plastic wrap, which has to be at least a little over wrapped. The shadow, taking their knife in hand stabs the plastic wrap, opening the refrigerated cookie dough. After the success they immediately through the knife on the floor, although not knowing where they threw it.
The shadow goes through the kitchens drawers, opening almost every single thing until they find a rolling pin and some cookie cutters. Once found they immediately get to work. The shadow rolls the dough out cuts out cookie after cookie, placing each on pan after pan. Which does make one wonder, how many cookies does a person need?
After enough cookies had been cut into shapes and prepared, the last step is to of course, place said cookies in the oven. The shadow quietly picks up two cookie trays at once and stealthily slides them into the oven. They set a timer for 12 minutes, and then make sure to place into a towel so it doesn't make as much noise. After the main project is done, the shadow goes to start cleaning their mess when they suddenly jolt up. They hear a noise coming from behind them, one such noise as you would hear from an actual living breathing being.
Turning slowly, the shadow comes face to face with a blue number, Four, who looks back at them with a piercing stare.
"Two."
Two looks back.
"I told you not to come back into our kitchen ever again."
Two continues to not reply.
Four becomes provoked by Two's lack of speech and starts to chase after him, and being met by this Two instantaneously darts away.
"WE TOLD YOU, THE KITCHEN IS OURS!"
Two narrowly avoids being hit by a laser from Four, only to be hit in the head by a pot thrown at him.
"FOUR- We can talk this out!" Two pleads whilst dodging a few other pans only to be hit by a flying spatula.
"We already talked the first time you broke in and stole our own ingredients! Now you better ge- OWGHHJGFHFIGHFHF- HFFFFGHGHGGG-OWHHQGQH" While attempting to confront Two, Four steps on the knife Two had thrown on the floor carelessly earlier.
"FOUR- Oh my- I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-"
Four drops to the ground, clutching his foot that had been stabbed all the way through. Two, not knowing what to do runs to the cookies and takes them out of the oven, though underbaked, and jumps out the window leaving behind the faint sound of X screaming about blood.
When the next day arrived, Two was well over prepared for their tea party with Gaty. The adrenaline from the morning before had kept Two awake since, which gave them more time to prepare. They grabbed their 3 different tea pots, cups, and cookies and placed them neatly into their own picnic basket.
And so, Two set out to the same park table they would sit at with Gaty every Tuesday for their tea and unspecified snack of the week. This week Two had accidentally specified their own plans of cookie making accidentally, leading to a pressure to make them and not change the snack. Which is why when Two discovered they had no material to make cookies they had to..improvise. This improvising may or may not have led to such a cause and effect that there may have been an injury or two from it. But that was behind them now. Gaty would be so happy to have these! How could they feel more accomplished.
Two eventually arrives at the park table, laying out their tea set and table cloth. The only thing that was off from the usual was the lack of Gaty's presence, which was quite abnormal due to how early she would arrive. After about 5 minutes of waiting, Two felt a buzzing coming from his own phone. Excited for the possible news of Gaty arriving soon, they picked the phone up immediately.
"Hey..two.." Gaty's voice came through the speaker of Two's phone roughly, with a bad connection
"Yeah Gaty?"
"I..can't come this week. I had to help a friend by babysitting but uh.."
Gaty paused
"The kid kind of..went..missing? Listen I'm sorry Two, I'll talk to you a later I'm so sorry-"
Twos face shifted from joy to despair almost immediately
"Oh. No, no that's fine. It's. Fine." Two gritted through their own teeth"
"Thank you for understanding! See you soon Two-"
The phone hung up, and Two stared down at the cookies and tea he had prepared. They slammed their head down into those cookies, muffling the faint sound of sobbing and eventually choking that followed from the accidental inhalation of a cookie.
they didn't even taste that good god dammit
YOU ARE READING
a silly collection of two oneshots
FanfictionI like two a lot hes very british and uhh anyways this is from my ao3 I just wanted to put it here too.
