Stripes, Strawberries, and Starward Scoutmasters

Untitled Part 1

"Are you getting anything out of this?" asked Raj.

The pygmy rhino kept his eyes locked to the screen as he answered. "Shi."

The TV in Lazlo's hospital room was on, and so was the volume—though it made no difference as the actors only spoke Chinese. But because they hadn't watched any TV since arriving at camp that summer, Raj and Clam sat and attempted to watch the program with their indisposed bunkmate, anyway.

The impatient pink elephant boy squinted at the screen, as the window made a glare on the screen, then turned to his side to find his go-with-the-flow rhino companion, watching quietly with interest. "Really?"

Even Lazlo had to raise a brow. "How can you even tell what's going on?"

"Panda lady," Clam explained, pointing. "Twin sister. Tiger guy doesn't know. Music goes 'DUN NU-NUH!" He demonstrated by slapping his palms to his cheeks in a perfect Macaulay Culkin impression.

"Oh, that explains why there's two of her," the spidermonkey nodded.

The eleven year old spidermonkey was lying propped up in the reclining bed, with Raj and Clam seated on either end. It had been only two days since Lazlo and Edward had arrived there after being rescued from Pimpleback Mountain. While trying to hike the mountain on a dangerous dare, Lazlo had suffered appendicitis, and Edward had tried to carry his rival back down on his back. This ultimately failed, but Edward's having moved them to a spot where they could be better seen ended up making him something of a hero, anyway.

Though the platypus felt like anything but brave and glamorous, grumpily cleaning in the mess hall as a punishment for the unauthorized expedition.

The would-be-hero platypus, who only needed some bandages and fluids, was sent home early yesterday morning. Lazlo, who had nearly done himself in by stubbornly fighting off the appendix pain, was stuck on bedrest for another few days.

The program was interrupted by an advertisement for some type of toothpaste, and Raj reached for the remote, muting the TV. "Teaching Chip and Skip how to tie their shoes would be less mind numbing. I don't know how you stand it, Lazlo."

"It's just a good thing I'm out of here by the end of the week," Lazlo told his friends. "I've really missed camp and everything about it. Especially you guys."

Clam clapped excitedly as he heard this news. "Lazlo coming home!"

"And thank goodness for that," Raj remarked. "Camp just hasn't been the same without you. Even Edward seems to miss your many eccentricities."

"It's true," Clam insisted. "Sad bill duck thing."

Lazlo rolled his eyes. "I'd have a hard time believing that—if it wasn't coming from my best friends."

"Now, just concentrate on relaxing," Raj told Lazlo, patting down the sheets as he stood up. "And we will see you back in camp in a few days."

"Come on, boys," Slinkman called from the doorway, carrying a folder of paperwork for Lazlo's parents. An insistent Raj and Clam had hitched a ride on the bus with him to say hello to the dearly missed companion, but it was, sadly, a short visit. "Time to go!"

"So long, soldier!" Clam playfully saluted Lazlo.

"It's been an honor," Raj added.

"The honor is mine, mo' cap-i-tons," Lazlo said, saluting them back. With his friends safe and heading back to camp, Lazlo snuggled down deeper into the sheets contentedly. "I guess I should try to get a little more shut eye," he said to himself with a groggily smile.

But just as soon as he began to drift off, a shrill voice made his eyes snap open. "Hi, Lazlo!"

The bedresting scout shot up straight, looking left and right wildly. He thought the voice was strangely familiar, but being in a strange place kept him from identifying it right away. "Uh... hello?"

"Forward, silly. Hehe."

Lazlo then turned straight again, and found the intruder—a familiar pink haired mongoose who was admiring him from the foot of the bed. Unlike the first time visiting, she wasn't a tattered mess from having taken her own lionhearted hike all the way to the hospital. Today, her hair was neatly curled, her face washed clean, and wearing a brand new copy of the Squirrel Scout uniform, she seemed out to impress.

Lazlo resisted a groan, knowing who she was trying to impress. "Oh, hi Patsy. What're you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked, holding her hands behind her back. "I'm here to see you!"

"Oh. That's... cool..." he responded, feeling kind of silly for asking. But part of him had hoped he was wrong. "How did you get here, anyway? Slinkman didn't give you a ride."

"Oh, Daddy comes here a lot to visit one of his VA buddies in the outpatient center across the road. I just told him I was going to visit a friend, and hitched a ride." She thrust out her hands and held out a tupperware container. "I also brought you some banana bread!"

"That's really nice of you, but I haven't been very hungry, lately," Lazlo said apologetically. "I was kind of looking forward to getting some ice cream, but they won't give me any unless I finish the food they give me, and I can't even get that down."

"What a racket," Patsy agreed quickly, coming over to his side. "Well, I'll just leave this here in case you change your mind." She pushed the bread on a clean swivel table, off to the left of the bed. Then she hopped up onto the end of Lazlo's bed where Clam had been sitting, crossing her legs daintily and resting her folded hands on her knees. "So, how long until they're letting you go?"

"Another four days. At least I hope." He gestured outwardly to the room with the arm that was still hooked to an IV. "It's pretty boring around here." He pointed to the large black box hanging up on the wall. "The only station that works on the TV has nothing but Chinese soap operas."

"This is terrible!" Patsy exclaimed. "My poor Lazlo! A prisoner of this curse-ed, sterile prison."

"Well, I wouldn't say that, but—"

"Hush, hush, don't strain yourself! Don't you worry, darling," she said, leaning in close. Uncomfortably close, in fact, at least for Lazlo—though he was too polite to point this out. "I am going to help you so that these next four days just fly by! Don't you worry!"

"But Patsy—"

"Let me see if the waiting room has any board games." Patsy hopped from the bed and hurried to the door. "And if not, I know how to turn a bunch of sticks and rocks into a game of Jax! Just give me—" she looked down at her watch—"two hours!"

And just like that, the over-eager Squirrel Scout was gone. But not for long.