A Guide on Being the Worst Bodyguard

1

Well this is great.

In fact, this is absolutely perfect! You think, as you bring the barrel of your gun down on the back of the very strange- and very hostile man, knocking him to the ground and hopefully out cold.

"Jesus, I know my Spanish isn't perfect but he didn't have to get all pressed about it..." You mumble, toeing the guy with your boot to make sure he's down. When he doesn't move, you let out a sigh of relief.

Danger out of the way, you assess your current situation. Okay, let's look at the hard facts.

Fact: you are stranded. In Spain. Fact: You are completely alone. Fact: You do not speak Spanish. Actually, your Spanish is so bad it made that guy try to strangle you. Let's see.. oh here-

Fact: You failed at the one job you had. To protect Ashley. Ashley Graham. The President's daughter. Fact: Not only are you so fired- but you're so fired you will be blacklisted from everybody guarding jobs in the whole country. The whole world, even.

Hah. Awesome.

Obviously you're not only worried about losing your job, Ashley's a good friend of yours. You've been assigned to her for quite some time, and though she's a bit younger than you and not the type of person you'd typically hang out with, she honestly kind of cool, and you two have grown  close over the months you've spent with her.

Naturally, you're worried. As much as Ashley is a capable independent girl, she can't fight. At least you don't think she can. Who knows, maybe her father paid for some kickboxing lessons. You can only hope.

Those guys who hijacked your car and killed the other bodyguard (R.I.P Guilbert, he was an ass-hat but you guess he didn't really deserve to die) and tried to kill you were scarily well trained and low-key intimidating.

God, you hope Ash is okay.

Fact: you're not only going to be jobless, but also friendless.

Unless- you go do something about it and actually find Ashley and get her home safe. Then you will have a friend and most likely still have a job. Maybe even a promotion- oooh you like the sound of that.

With that encouraging thought, you start to form a plan, and look around the small shack you have found yourself in.

It's nothing special, it's small, dirty, sort of smells funny- but strangely there is handgun ammo and some pesetas - money, yay! - that you pocket before heading out the creaky barn doors and out into a woodland path.

The morning sunlight shines through the leaves, and you begin to walk along the dirt path through the woods, avoiding puddles and humming to yourself quietly. You wonder if there's anyone that can speak English here. Maybe they can direct you towards the right path to find Ash, or maybe translate some helpful information.

You figure there must be someone. There's got to be tourists once in a while- hikers, travelers, ya know, the usual. This is a pretty rural part of Spain from what you've seen so far though, so maybe not. Maybe-

Your thoughts are cut off by a man angrily saying something in Spanish, and you find yourself being rapidly approached by said man with a pitchfork.

"Uh- Hola?" You say, unsure. You're not sure how to say 'take it easy' or 'I'm not here to harm you' or 'back off bud I have a gun'.

Before you can think of something, the man says something else in Spanish and rushes towards you, thrusting forward his pitchfork in an attempt to stab you.

You dodge it, and use his momentum against him, bringing an elbow down hard on his back to make him fall over before slamming him into the ground using your foot.