HAPPY NEW YEARS (or at least im writing the beginning on the 1st; idk how long it is gonna take for me to publish this)
tw: blood-ish, implied self harm, overall sad stuff
also heads up, i stan analogical
Logan's POV
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It is very hard to not cry, but I know I need to keep my composure. I can cry alone after I'm done patching up Virgil and after I get him stable. Roman is very openly crying by Virgil's head. I do not know why, but I can no longer feel the extreme distress of Thomas.
"Roman? Can you compose yourself and go check on Thomas? I can handle Virgil from here." I ask Roman.
"But I'm covered in blood." Roman responds sniffling.
"If my theory is correct, Thomas will have little to no reaction. You can also make sure if Patton is okay. I'm sure he is with Thomas and Janus. Though, I would like you to stay with Patton and tell Janus to come back to Virgil's room. " I state. I can't bare to show emotions, or I will break down.
"A-alright." Is all Roman says back. He stands up, stops crying, tries to make his blood stained clothes presentable, and sinks down to Thomas' living room.
As soon as Roman is fully gone, I finally shed a tear. I have to finish giving Virgil stitches before I can cry more, so I compose myself. It takes a few more minutes, but I'm finally done with the stitches. I start to bandage Virgil's arm. When I finish that, I start transferring him to my room as I have more supplies there. When I get to my room, and I actually open my door, I quickly lay Virgil down on my bed. I'm aware that I will have to wash my now bloodied sheets, however I do not care.
"Logan? Where are you?" I hear Janus asks.
"I'm in my room." I respond. I get myself together as fast as I can. I was waiting on the edge of my bed as Janus comes in.
"What was Thomas' reaction?" I ask, for once leaving out details.
"He was surprised but he didn't really care." Janus says. I was confused until I saw his right glove in his left hand. "Roman is more helping Patton then he is helping Thomas. He is making sure Thomas doesn't go anywhere though."
"Great." Is all I respond with.
"Logan, I know you're hurting. It's alright, I am too."
"I'm supposed to not have emotions! I can't show my emotions! No one would care, anyways." I say. "You can keep it together, so why can't I?" I quietly sob.
"It's a natural thing, I guess. Trust me, I've had many breakdowns, you can ask Remus about it." Janus says sitting down next to me. "It's alright to cry, everyone has before. Even you, Logan."
I lean my head on his shoulder as tears start streaming down my face.
"What did you do?" I ask.
"Huh?
"What did you do when Virgil did this?" I rephrase.
"Pretty much the same thing you did. I helped him, and then I cried. I know I was never the best to Virgil, but I will always care about him." Janus replies.
"But why do I care so much? I've never felt this way before, so what's changed?" I say while crying.
"So you've never felt emotions to this extent about anyone before?" Janus asks.
"I... I don't know."
"Well, do you care about him more than you do for others?"
"I- yeah.."
"Would you do anything for him if he asks?"
"To make him happy..." I say sniffling.
"What do you think when you see him?"
"I.. get happy? Sometimes overwhelmingly happy?"
"Logan, I think you love him." Janus concludes.
"What? No... I- what?" I stammer.
"Just think about it for awhile. Feelings are confusing." Janus responds. "Would you like to be alone?"
"Uh- yeah. Thank you, Janus." I manage to say.
"Anytime." Janus says walking out the door. "Oh, and if you need anything, you can come to me."
"I'll keep that in mind."
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totally not the 5th as im finishing this-
pretty sure updates will be slow, but they'll happen eventually!
