It Was Always Just About the Horse (Bojack Horseman X Ken from The Barbie Movie)

A Horse Named Cold Air

Authors note: omg silly mitski, the horse was named BOJACK not COLD AIR. DUH omg what a silly mistake don't worry boo I make it all the time. 

Ken's POV:

Ever since The Great Battle of the Kens, Ken had been feeling a little down. Even with the more frequent beach-offs from the other Kens and his talks with Barbie, something was off. He was missing something. Something that was more... rideable.

He was walking through Barbieland, a faek smile on his face because well, he was oh so sad about having nothing to ride :(. He missed Kendom, land of the Kens, with all his hair and rippling abs, minus all the misogyny and being mean and fights with the Kens (he loved his pookie dookies bros sweaty buddies more than air). He missed the horses. Long nosed stallions that were just so gosh darn cool!!11! He wanted his man extender so bad >:(

Suddenly his Barbie phone all new with real lights and rechargeable batteries rang. "Mattieriah" was calling. Who was Mattieriah? Ken thought as he answered the phone anyway because he was just so quirky and random like that.

"Hello, this is Mattel." Ohhh Mattel! Ken must have typed it in wrong because he's so silly and uwu and needs a big strong oily man to help him. 

"H-h-h-h--h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-he-e-e-e-e-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o." Ken s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stuttered cutely.  

"Yes uhhh... hewwo... Who is this?" Mattieriah said. Oops, Ken thot, he meant Mattel uwu.

"K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-"

"Ken? Ken, right? Tell me I'm right pretty please."

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-"

"Okay. Great. Wow." The person behind the phone seemed to be enjoying the praise a bit too much. He clears his throat though. "Okay... well I have no clue who Ken is... like the.... I don't know. I don't care. Anyway-" A tear ran down Ken's face. He was never remembered :(. "-I have a bit of a problem."

Ken cleared his throat, thinking about horses to keep his voice straight (lmao). "Y-yes?"

"Well, you see, even though The Barbie Movie did so good, my crush- I MEAN JUST LIKE HOMIE LIKE LIKE LIKE I-I LIKE THEM AT ALLL LIKE I WE LIKE I MEAN IF THEY LIKED ME BACK THEN- Netflix. We've been trying so HARD to get them to agree with us but they just won't. So we would like you to negotiate with them and like idk make them like you so then they'll listen to you and then love me back."

"W-what would I have to do."

"Well there's a super duper popular show called Bojack Horseman-"

"I'm in."

"Do you-"

"Let me in, please."

And just like that, Ken was off to the world of Bojack Horseman, eagar to find a HORSE MAN! Maybe if he played his cards right, he could be his whoreman, if you catch my drift. 

Soon, he was dropped off at Bojacks house. He rang the doorbell, eagar to see the HORSE MAN that this HORSE MAN was. He was blushing just thinking about it.

When the door opened, it was not a sexy horse but rather a man with a red hoodie and cool hat.

"Who are you?" He asked.

Ken cleared his throat, determined to make a good first impression.

"I'm looking for a horse."

The man looked inside the house, the door not opened enough for Ken to see anything inside, and then looked back at Ken. "Alright COMe in."

Ken skipped in quickly, giddy to meet his sexy horse man. He looked into the room to the couch and almost pissed his pants. It was like a mermaid, only upside down and instead of a fish it was a horse. The horse fish Ken had always been hoping for. And he looked nothing like The Rock! This was just like all of Kens daydreams and nightdreams and what he thought about when he was beaching off. 

The man kicked the sexy exy horse man. "Bojack, you have company. A twink," The man looked over at Ken and said, "No offence." Then looked back at Bojack. "Wants to speak to you." 

Bojack groans before looking up.  "UGHH.... why are you so... bright?"

"Can I ride you?"