The Mishap

chapter 1

Hello my name is Abigail Rene, 23 year old cat shifter and well pregnant.

Things started off well in the beginning of 2017. Thought I found my mate and was in love and stayed with a human man for almost 6 years who I thought loved me, Boy was I wrong. We were happy is what I thought but he apparently wasn't happy enough.

Getting his dick wet seemed to be his main priority. I was suspicious for a while that something wasn't right, my gut and head told me to check everything but my heart kept saying different.

6 long years of what I thought was a fantastic relationship/engagement went down the drain. I should've known after he proposed and didn't want to get married but I just brushed it off as him have jitters.

Fuck I should've listened to my gut back then "laughing."

After the last straw I left him, I couldn't take being the last thing he thought of or the last person he would ever want to hang out with. At home he was so distant but around my family he acted as tho we never fight and as tho he was never physically or emotionally abusive.

Maybe it was because I couldn't get pregnant or I gained a little weight I'm honestly not sure, but what I do know is that he was and always will be a two timing back stabbing whore.

After moving in with family I became depressed, I never wanted to do anything and this went on for a few months. Then I got my first job. I was so ecstatic. I chose that as my opportunity to eat healthier and lose weight.

Then I met him a while after. Spark flew, every where he touched tingled and felt a-flamed. He was a panther. Light beautiful blue eyes tall muscular and oh so damn fine. I was so smitten by him but I still didn't trust men. We talked and hung out and come to find out he went through the same thing I did.

Then it happened, we were with and there for each other every day. Everyone thought we were or would become a couple and during this I became attached and scared not knowing what to do. We were together for 6 months but felt like years. We'd stay together, make meals together and create beautiful memories. Then we had to go, I was so heart broken so depressed trying to help find us a place. Then the news came. I was pregnant and we were gonna be in separate towns.... I thought me missing was just from stress. But nope a little miracle was created.

I tried years trying and thinking I couldn't because the doctors said when I was younger I wouldn't be able to, so I gave up. But I guess it wasn't me in that department and he truly wasn't my fated.

My panther tells me he loves me everyday but I honestly don't know.

I get that we are in separate house holds and a few miles apart but he rather spend his time playing games or watching tv or be out in the woods running in panther form and never really wants to talk to me anymore. I honestly just don't know. He doesn't ask how I'm doing or how's my day even when I ask him. He never really asks about the kit or how he/she is doing. I try and tell him things and it's like he either ignores it or just brushes it off. He can tell me things but as soon as I try and tell him things its like I don't even exist.

He was down to come see me for a weekend and I stayed with him but he basically stayed on his phone the whole time ignoring me.

He says he misses me but when he does come to see me it's only for like a few minutes and he talks to my family or he's playing in the phone more than he hangs and talks with me.

RED FLAG I know, but he has made me fall so hard for him and he's the father of my first child and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm constantly in a depressed state where I just don't want to do anything besides eat and take my meds for the baby and sleep.
He knows I'm high risk but it seems like he doesn't care.

I get that he's depressed because he hasn't found a job or as he says a place for us. But so am I and still I try to talk to him anytime I can or anytime he's willing to talk to me. 

My brain is telling me he's seeing someone else and that's why he hardly has time for me but I don't know what to believe. I honestly wouldn't know if he is or isn't because he hasn't marked me yet. "Tears."

I honestly just want to be done. If it wasn't for this baby I probably wouldn't be here anymore.
The depression is different than before, it feels worse now than it did with my ex.
I hate this, I hate the not knowing. I hate all of the doubts and my insecurities ALL OF IT.

I just want my mate back to the way he was before.

Kind, loving, and understanding.