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26 ᴅᴀʏs ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇɢʀᴀᴅᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
"we should talk, jay." jabari whispers to his long term girlfriend, jayda smalls. the movie theater is relatively quiet– as quiet as a theater with surround-sound can be– and aside from the couple, only a few scattered teens fill the space. regardless of the small number of people though, the tension in the air is so suffocating it truly is a wonder how no one else is choked by it.
"you wanna talk in the middle of the movie bari? gon head then." jayda bites in a volume not sharing his previous whisper. she turns to face him, the most apparent form of body language they've shared all day and she stares at him blankly.
"i didn't mean right na, and you know that. fix ya face shordi and watch that damn tone." jabari says, not holding her gaze for more than a few seconds. "act like you know how to behave in public."
jayda stands and shoves the popcorn bucket into his lap with a huff and starts gathering her belongings. a jacket, a purse, a— where is her phone?
"i know you're not tryna scold me right now when you've been acting pissy all day. stop tryna play with me bari and spit it out. start handling your stuff like a man and stop bitching your way through the day."
rustling around for her phone, riddled with anger, jayda's body begins manifesting the frustration through the sweat in her hands. she hated getting out of character , it wasn't like her to be sharp with her partner or dismissive of requests to communicate but things with her and jabari had been off for days. he wasn't responding to her texts in a timely manner anymore. he wasn't even reaching out or making plans. anytime they would manage to hang out, he would always find something to complain about. something she wasn't doing right. some need she wasn't meeting. it was frustrating to say the least and try as she might to maintain a healthy relationship, the efforts were proving to be futile.
"aye watch that bitch word real quick. matter fact, you actually got one more time to talk to me crazy before i-"
"before you what, bari? hit me? that's what you on now?"
heads in the theater begin to turn in their direction. a myriad of
"shhs" and "take it outsides!" react to the now loud and intense conversation taking place in row e.
"jayda i can't do this witchu no more. i'm over this fighting bs. i'm damn-near beefin with my girl, what the hell is that?"
phone in hand, jayda finally begins shuffling out the row and towards the exit. the starting signs of heat has turned into full on anger manifestations of twitching eyes and a throbbing neck vein.
"you tell me bro. you're the one always on sum. but if you're done, i'm done. i'd hate to keep you somewhere you'n wanna be."
"i'm done jay. i don't wanna be witchu no more."
"say less then."
20 ᴅᴀʏs ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇɢʀᴀᴅᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
"em mamas, i don't understand!" jayda says, weeping into the lap of her childhood best friend, mercedes.
this was the 6th day mercedes and jayda had been in this exact scenario, rehashing the same situation. everyday since that very dramatic day in the theater when jayda and jabari broke up, mercedes would go to jayda's house as per their routine to hang out until cheer practice. over the last week however, the usual hangout consisting of nonverbal expressions and snacking was overtaken by jayda's daily meltdowns. by way of the 7 stages of grief, jayda was in the denial phase.
"i just don't understand how he can just be so fine with leaving me like that after 2 years together." she would whimper. "i'm not just some fling bro. like we're supposed to be moving in together after graduation and really doing our thing and now it's just to hell wit me?"
everyday mercedes would tell her the same thing. she was essentially an echo chamber for comfort, sharing sentiments like
"everything happens for a reason." and "at least you know now' and jayda's least favorite, "that nigga was ugly anyways, good riddance!"
despite the comfortings of her friend however, jayda was overwhelmed and consumed with grief. she couldn't wrap her head around the abrupt nature of the breakup. even more, she couldn't understand the seeming indifference he began to display as soon as they broke up.
she was blocked, unadded, and unfollowed within hours of the break up. there was essentially no choice but to begin the process of moving on. but how do you come back from a love like that? a love so raw and long-term and essential. he was a vital part of her being. he was instrumental in shaping the woman she was becoming. and now, without a second thought from him, she was expected to move into this next stage of her life without him.
none of this seemed plausible. deeper yet, none of this seemed fathomable. but despite her best efforts to call, text, and even ambush him in person, the only respite she would know is his dismissive words of "we're graduating soon, you'll get over it" the day after the break up.
in between sobs and mercedes' meaningless cliches, the words of her father echoed in her head.
two days ago, she was finally able to get in contact with her father who was stationed in the military overseas. she had cried to him and shared all of her woes and he listened good-naturedly. he let her sob and curse and lament and then he asked her, "do you think it's better to love and lose than to have never loved at all?"
in the moment this sounded like such an existential and rhetorical question and had even sent her into a more violent fit of sobs. but now, as she pondered the query even more, she realized how absolutely ridiculous that question was.
it was not better to love and lose than not love at all. how could anyone think otherwise.
"this love shit sucks mercedes." jayda says wiping up her tears and cracking her fingers. "it's basically a losing game."
"you sound like that one summer walker song." mercedes responds with a giggle. "'love is a losing game, so you might as well be a hoe' or whatever she said."
jayda stands and sighs. "yeah, she might've been on to something."
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a/n:
i have not been on this wattapad junk in a whileee. hey y'all! my last actual work on here was almost 7 years ago, but i haven't fallen out of love with writing at all so i figured while i work on my more long term, professional project, project earl, i'd get back on here and flex the muscle. shoutout to 'melaninhoodrat' on here for being a huge inspiration of this style and genre of story, i'm boutta have so much fun with this.
