The Way It Could've Been

Chapter 13, Mark...

"Do you, or do you not have a crush on that boy?"

I heard the whole conversation, starting with that line. I was walking downstairs from doing my business when I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard that line. I was nosey. Filled with curiosity as I listened to their conversation.

"Maybe..." I hear Julian's voice get quieter. Then squealing.

"But didn't he bully you a lot in middle school?" I hear Adam say. My heart drops. I bullied him in middle school.

I stood in the middle of the stairs listening to their conversation until they mentioned my name. And I knew for sure they were talking about me.

"Mark might be gay for Julian... Huh." I couldn't help but smile. Does Julian like me? Julian likes me! I sit down on the stairs trying to calm myself down. Their conversation still going. I'm going to have to walk downstairs at some point. So, I try calming myself down enough to look like I heard nothing. I took a step, I felt hesitant, but I took another, then another. I walked downstairs and I saw everyone staring at me.

"What?" I try to act like I'm confused by all the eyes on me.

"Nothing," Julian says. The doorbell rings and I turn around and face the door before looking back at the group.

"It's the pizza," Adam says, and I look back at the door, opening it and smiling at the delivery guy as he hands me the pizza. I take it and give him a small 'Thank you' before closing the door and turning. I walk into the kitchen beside Julian to put the pizza box down on the table. My hip lightly grazed against Julian as I passed him on purpose of course. I look over at Julian and see him tense. I smirk and look at Adam.

"Where are the plates?" I ask. Adam points to a bag of paper plates on the counter. I grab a plate and open the pizza box. I take a slice and plop it onto my plate. Everyone else doing the same.

I looked at Julian silently and glanced down at my plate to grab the pizza. I took a bite before glancing back up to see Julian looking at me. He looked away quickly, but I had my eyes on him. I smirked slightly.

...

We were surrounded by blankets, watching 'The Conjuring'. Of course, it was Julian's idea. We were both seated together, the television was the only source of light since it was completely dark outside. Me and Julian were on the couch. Angie was on Julian's other side. Melissa and Ada were sitting next to each other on the floor. I could tell Melissa had a crush on him. It was easy to notice how differently she acted around him. Jonah was next to Adam. His arms crossed as he watched the movie.

I turn my head to take a look at Julian. Still, happy he likes me. I smile slightly, my eyes travel down from his eyes to his lips. Those lips seemed so tempting to kiss. My face heats up, my breathing gets a little heavy. I turn away and look at the television. I sigh and take a deep breath to calm myself down.

I look back at Julian and move my hand down to his. I want to grab it. I want to touch his hand. I miss his touch. I put my hand on my thigh and continued to watch the movie. Slightly disappointed in myself. He likes me too, why am I making it so hard to make a move on him?! This is frustrating. I look away again. I shake my head and push the covers that me and Julian shared off my body.

"I'll be right back..." I say as I walk to the front door and walk out. I close the door behind me and finally breathe in the fresh air that I so desperately need. Sighing air that I didn't know I was holding. I walk to the steps and sit down. Looking up at the stars. They looked more visible from where I live. I search for constellations to distract myself from Julian. But it doesn't work.