Shadows of my palms

The unforgettable past

For as long as I could remember , the last time i felt happy or , anything that goes like that for the matter , was in my early 17's .It was all until I met the man still hunting my worst nightmares .I remember it all like I remember the calm manner the blood flows down my wrists so frequently. That man . He is all I can think about .  I remember the past all too well .I remember the day I met him ,the way the butterflies escaped wildly the cage that where my ribs and went straight to my stomach . Hell, I remember the pinkish tint my face would take everytime he would compliment my chocolate brown eyes .I was 17 , an innocent,stupid little girl . 

The day I met him was during class , I had been crushing on this new kid who at first seemed completely innocent in some sort of way , I would have never thought he would have become the demon that hunts me to the deepest of my fears , entering my mind and breaking it with a hit of hammer . 

It happened all too fast , he had entered the classroom and had introduced himself to the class. 

" Hello everyone , my name is Mile Ledgers ,I'm 18 and I currently moved from France to come here , I hope we can all get along well ." He said those words with such ease and had a spotless and bright smile ,it could be mistaken for the sun , his black hair going perfectly with his forest green eyes . 

"Go sit next to Iris" The proffessor will never know that he had just fed me to the wolf . If she had ever knew the guilt would of , for sure , took her love of life away .It would have destroyed her thoughts concerning love but even I at the time couldn't have seen the damaging storm arrive .I had just raised my hand and made him sign that this Iris girl was indeed me . He came walking towards the seat and smiled at me . 
"Hello ,nice to meet you . " He had said as if his beauty was the usual ,it was like he had no idea he was as beautifull as the deep forest ,so beautifull yet filled with mysteries . 

"Nice to meet you as well ,i'm Iris . " This was the only sentence I could think off before the butterflies destroyed their cage and flew around my stomach . Was that love ? 

As the days passed , we got closer , we where like the fingers of a hand .Yet , the thought of him being the cause of my current distress would've been like the stab caused by a knife who's blade would have penetrated my body , killing me on it's way out or maybe it would have been like the stab of angry words , being hissed out by the one you thought would love you until the end of time . Foolish isn't the word I am looking for . A total idiot , seems like the appropriate sentence .

- This book is for the scarred hearted & for those who's blood flowed once too many times .