Secret Love

Prologue.

"I don't like you. If you like me though, it's fine, it doesn't matter if you do."

- "Ben".

HI. I'M ALICE, AND WELCOME TO- my world.

You have your jocks, your geeks, the popular snobs, and the outcasts, where I'm at. I used to be popular I guess you could say, I never really fit anywhere, I always sat everywhere with everyone.

But when drama was starting to get to me? Losing the two best girl friends (who are both popular, not snobby though) and a guy I care about and understand so much? I was really depressed if you asked me.

Then. You have your crush. The guy who makes you smile when you see him, he makes your day by knowing he's there sometimes... I love everything about him. Who? Ben. His brown hair, blue eyes... so baby blue you don't even know. He's well tanned, knowing he's outside all the time. he was super strong also, making him "every girls dream". But I'm not like one of those girls. Ya know, who likes a guy for his looks? In my opinion, personality and having common interests is what I find attractive. He's funny, sweet... I know everything about him. And no, I'm not a stalker. We were buds, remember? It's funny because we had every single thing in common. favorite bands, sports teams, even colors and books. We later on started calling each other "twins" which a ton of people considered it "cute and adorable". which I didn't mind, it kinda was.

It's weird sometimes knowing when I first met the dude. It was in 6th grade during lunch, beginning of the year. I didn't have friends at the time, so I didn't know where to sit. "Hey, you!!" I turn to my right and there's this little petty group of girls in their jewels and such. "Yeah..?" "Come sit with us, girl!" What I was thinking: Nononononono. No. Nope. "sure." .....what the heck me. I sat with them not even talking, I was just, there. I kept hearing them say "OH EM GEEE HE'S LIKE SSOOO CUTE!" "GIRL I KNOW RIGHT?! HIS HAIRR AAHHHH!!!" Me? Hah, wat?... "HAVE YOU SEEN HIS EYES?!" "HIS EYES ARE SO DREAMMYYY!!!" Ok I was seriously regretted sitting there. But, who were they talking about...? "So guys......" I said, in the shy way I was. "BLAHBLAHHAIREYESPENISLDAYCSHKOFS" Uhm ok. I tried again, "Guys..." they were still ignoring me.. with their "DGKVAGHLODSEGHIVAGGLALAHURDERP" -ing. Ok. No. "GUYS!" and this one girl in front of me with her little Sharpay Evans attitude, and hearing her jewelry cling as she turned, says "UHG. WHAT." "Who is the dude your talking about?" "OOHHH Ben?!" "who...who's Ben..?" and there faces were priceless. Their faces looked like the parents of their Asian kid getting a C+ (it's only a joke, I'm not racist). It was the funniest thing ever. She looked at me for a couple seconds, then coughed "you..don't.." "no." Her eyes opened. Wide. Like, anime eyes wide. "......OH," Hands up. "EM," Hands down. "GEE." And they were flying. I face-palmed the freaking table. "HE'S THE HOTTEST DUDE IN SCHOOL!" I kinda got that already based on your floppy hands. "Okay... where is he?" She sits up, perking her little butt out. I don't even know don't ask. "Umm.. hhmm... Oh! THERE!" She was pointing at this table full of guys. "Um..?" "Right. There." Herself and all of the other Bratz dolls pointed over there. "Guys! Seriously! You're being distractive!" ...I had to literally hide. I don't know why but I needed to, so I did. "Look they're pointing back!!!" hah. wat. So I sat up, turn to my left and they're seriously all pointing at us. I was the only one not pointing.. at MY table. "So where's Ben?" she rolled her eyes. She was seriously tired of me. "He's the dude not pointing." .........she wasn't kidding. I finally saw this dudes face right. It. Was. Perfect. Strong facial structure/jaw line, the eyes, hair, he looked like a rock dude. Which I found extremely attractive. but, I wasn't paying attention to that. the second I looked at him, my heart skipped a beat, and my eyes opened wide. Same happened for him, and we were looking at each other. I couldn't hear anything around me, and, I could see a few people around him. Everyone else was a blur. I have no idea how long we were staring, but I was starting to get my hearing back. "Aalliicceee..." I heard. Now hearing snapping fingers and clinging bracelets in my ear. I saw that the guys were trying to get his attention, also, but it took him a second to snap. He finally did though. I suddenly shook my head. "Huh-huh..wh-what..?" she looked at me with raised eyebrows and an exciting grin. "Soooo???" Talk about perfect. "...THAT'S Ben?!" She laughed, and flipped her hair. "yup!" I turned back at him, seeing that he kept looking at me too. We were both flipped out about what the heck just happened. when it was time to go to class, I kept looking at him, and he was at me also.

And how Ben and I became friends is a cute story, actually. I was alone at church, and he was playing with his friends. Like every wednesday night, right? One night, he sees me there. "H-hey Alice.." The nervous thing he is around me. "H-hey..." it was awkward..sort of.. eh. Anyways, he was playing ball with his bros, I was watching, and he looks at me. I look at him....confused... I guess you could say. He just stopped playing out of nowhere. "Bro... you ok?" his friend Blake asked. He didn't reply. He didn't even take a glance at him. In Ben's eyes, he was looking at me like I was an innocent puppy or something and felt sorta bad. Well, he looked at me that way anyways. He literally dropped the ball, and walked over to me. Blake was all "Oh, my gosh. What the heck..?" It was really funny actually. I looked at him in sort of shock, but yet still confused. And he just sits down on the ground by me. "Hey, Alice." "H-hi Ben." it's funny cause we didn't even talk. We did try, but the conversations drifted off. To be honest, I was comfortable for once. I didn't feel awkward, nor alone. I felt protected, I was actually happy. It was a warmth inside I've never felt. He started texting a friend, but I didn't care. It wasn't awkward, so it was fine. like I was cool with it, ya know.

Church was finally going to start and.. he helped me up. First, holy cow his hands were soft. And strong. I was blushing a little bit, and he chuckled. I could tell by his eyes he was happy. They were sparkling a little bit. I got lost in his and he got lost in mine for a couple seconds, and we were pushed by someone, which made us pop out of our faze.

I found a seat in the back corner where I usually sit, where I'm not bothered by anyone or anything. Of course, my school group sits in front of me with their jocks and Bratz dolls. Aannnddd Ben was right in front of me. Yay. He turned around, looked down, and looked up at me, with his winning, flirty smile. I shrugged, looked down, and looked back at him. His friends by his side, and him huddled up in a little group, whispering. It was funny, they looked like little mice when they were talking. Ben turns straight around to me, with the same smile. I was confused a little bit again. Seconds later I was watching him get up, hearing: "You go, Ben!" "Yeah, go get em, Ben!" I was like. what. He got up from his seat, walks down the isle, comes down MY isle, and sits by me. "Hi." "Umm...hi? Again? Heh.." because this has totally happened to me before. His friends would keep looking back as if they kept hearing something, well naw there's people back here. But when they kept looking back, Ben would shake his head. I was SO confused.

So it was time for singing and worship. I started singing one of my favorite Christian songs How He Loves by Casting Crowns. Ben was texting away with someone, but suddenly stopped the second he heard me sing. I was nervous, I've had people tell me I have an amazing and beautiful voice, and now I'm singing by Ben? He was right there, watching me. I started to fade off and looked down, then I looked at him. He was looking at me in the eyes, his eyes looked dark blue. but I wasn't paying attention to the eye color. We were literally looking into each others eyes, with no thought in our minds. I wasn't even thinking about anything, I felt like I was in paradise. Whatever I was in, it was like heaven. I noticed that he was starting to grin. I started to also, and I felt my eyes sparkling. I saw some sparkle in his eyes and I grinned. even more. When the song ended, I shook my head, and so did he, and, it suddenly became awkward. I was blushing slightly when I sat down, just noticing what the heck just happened between a jock and an outcast. I looked at him, seeing that he was looking at me, I looked at him in a confused/funny way and we both started laughing. Of course he was pulling flirty moves like his leg touching mine, turning more towards me, stuff like that.

When church ends, it's like nothing ever happened. Like, we were never "sort of" friends, or "friends" in general.

We started talking more and more later on. We were become really good friends, and was starting to become bestfriends when I did a testimony at church, and he gave me his number, then asked for mine, so we can talk and maybe hang out sometime. I was shocked and nervous, but I was jumping like a bunny on a trampoline on the inside.

So, now, were best friends. We started now calling each other twins and passing each other in the hall saying "What's up, twin?" I was happy everyday. It felt like we were dating, but not in a "make out, have sex" way. It was more of a "in love with my best friend" way.

One day we we were planning on going to hang out and go to the mall then go seeing a movie. I suggested it, and he was smiling like crazy. H.e puts his hands in his pocket, and said "Y-yeah! That'd be great!" With the cutest smile ever. His eyes were sparkling like crazy! And, so were mine. We planned on hanging out next Saturday. But what happened on Thursday, ruined everything...