𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞? (𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐱𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭)

Chapter 1: The meeting

I was eleven and I've never felt real happiness in my little life, in my childhood I've never had the example of true love between two people, my parents never loved each other, so I didn't have an idea of what love can feel and look like. Every moment I thought I was feeling happy was just a lie to myself, even tho people saw me happy on the outside, I truly wasn't on the inside. I lived with my mother in Russia until the end of primary school and then I decided to move to Italy, my birth country, where my dad lives. I wanted to finally live a normal life like every kid my age, but what expected me there was something I could never imagine and probably goes beyond any borderline.

I started middle school in a private school in a town near the village I live now. I honestly expected some strict boarding school but in reality was nothing of that. It was better than public schools and teachers there were so friendly to their students. The first day of school went normal, I didn't really like my classmates tho and I think it was mutual.

The second day changed my life completely, I arrived late at school and the teacher of the first period was kinda mad at me about it. I didn't feel very good that day, everything looked strange, everything has changed and looked like some kind of dream or illusion. After the second break before the last two hours I was sitting normally on my desk waiting for the teacher who was a little late. The subject was Art. Suddenly in the classroom entered a young woman, my heart froze, and my head started spinning, I felt an emotion I can't describe. The woman looked about 25 years old, tall, thin, shoulder length red curly hair and hazel eyes, she was gorgeous, her name was Anna. I was confused with my feelings It was like I knew her but not physically, I felt a connection I've never felt with anyone else. I was immediately drawn to her. She looked very nice and kindhearted. I noticed that she also looked a bit confused, we were both shy to talk to each other, it was very strange, but we kept looking at each other sometimes.

When I went home I was feeling strange I couldn't take her out of my mind and everyday I went to school I kept looking for her randomly but I was very scared to talk to her because for some reason I thought she didn't like me. At the school events we had a month after school the person I was looking for first, was her. And always like this, school trips, breaks, events, festivals, even random walks in her town all I wanted is to see her but only just to look at her nothing else. I couldn't give a proper definition of this feeling because it all felt so unusual.

Around a month after school had started we had the first test ever and it was with her, I don't like History of Art so I didn't really study hard for it and in class all I did was staring at her instead of listening to her so I tried my best but at one question I stopped and I couldn't understand the meaning so I called her, she came and I explained that I don't understand it at first she says "Look I really want to help you but I can't tell you the answer, try to think about it." she leaves me to think but I still don't understand and I call her again this time she says "What is the thing next to you?" "A window?" I say looking confused "That's the answer." and with that she goes away. She literally found an escamotage tell me the answer a thing no other teacher would do.

The second test we had with her was a disaster, it was drawing and I was particularly bad at it. I was panicking the whole lesson and because of the anxiety and panic and didn't finish it in the two hours given, but she did something I could never imagined, she told me I can have a bonus of 2 hours the next week even tho others had finished. I thought she was gonna do like the average teacher taking your test without compassion after the time finished, but that was not her case. The next week I didn't understand it again and I even broke down crying I saw she felt sorry but she couldn't do anything about it, if she did it was going to be seen as a preference towards me and get in trouble. With this test I got the first bad grade in my life D+, at least she is remembered for something.

A few months passed and I noticed that sometimes she looked at me randomly in class and said stuff like "Oh here they go again making noise." and always looked more at me than others.

When i arrived at the Christmas party I was again looking for her but I couldn't find her. A few minutes before the beginning she randomly came and didn't interact with anyone at all. She looks very shy, she never fully opens up with anyone very much. She is very similar to me though, that's why we understand each other. It was my turn to sing, I was anxious, she was sitting in front row right under my eyes and I was about to faint. I was shaking. When I started singing everything went quiet and my dad and grandparents were smiling and so was she. While singing I kept looking straight at her and she did the same. After the event we went back to school to eat for Christmas and she disappeared again.

The day before the Christmas vacation we had a buffet in school and I had a plate with me to put the food in, I saw they were serving salami but I didn't understand it was two pieces per person so I went straight up to three pieces but while I was getting the third one I hear a familiar female voice saying behind me "Don't get more than two pieces there are others also who want it." I turn with my heart racing and I see Anna looking at me with disappointment and to please her I look at her with an annoyed look and put the piece back from where I got it and she says "No no, now it's yours if you want more you can do a second round after everyone is done." I saw other people got more than 2 like me but she didn't see it because she didn't look at them, she was constantly focused on me for some reason.

After the Christmas vacation I discovered her birthday, January 31, I didn't know her true age yet but my mind was convinced she was around 25.

One day I had to go home earlier and they called me to wait for my dad to pick me up in the teacher's room. And she was there along with my class coordinator, she kept asking me questions about my life "Are you fully Russian?" "No, i am just half." "So your mother is Russian, do you have a good relationship with her?" "Sadly not." she was very direct with her questions she seemed to be very curious, even more than other teachers who also asked some questions.

In February we had a one week trip to the mountains to ski. I knew how to ski but they never taught me how to use the lift. Of course she came to this and she was actually good at skiing. The first day I failed because I fell off the lift and because luck wasn't on my side they thought I was new to ski and put me in the beginners group. I was quite disappointed and in the same time scared to use the lift. The afternoon we didn't have ski lessons and we were free to ski wherever we wanted but in groups of three. I decided not to ski that day but two girls from one class kept begging me to ski with them because they didn't have a third person. They begged me for like half of an hour and then Anna came out of nowhere behind me saying "Come on Nastya why are you so scared, the lift won't eat you." I, again, said no but now all three kept insisting like crazy and I gave up and finally said yes. Anna was right and the lift didn't eat me apparently.

When we got back to the hotel we had to watch a movie and we had like 2 hours to have a shower and go downstairs. I was in room with other three girls who I didn't like especially one In particular who was like the popular girl. They all had showers and I was the last one, but I had the longer hair and before I asked them kindly to let me be first so I would've had more time drying it and they didn't listen and so I had to go downstairs with my hair almost fully wet. She saw me and said "Isn't your hair too wet? I am afraid you can get a cold." I said it was ok and she didn't mind anymore.

After this mini vacation with her I was so happy, but my happiness didn't last any longer a worldwide pandemic started and we had online school so that meant no interaction at all exempt school stuff. I was kinda sad but I got used to it. For some reason I started to lose attachment to her, maybe the distance and the zero interaction were the cause.