The Red Fox

The Beginning of the End

I gave up everything for you. You acted like nothing happened between us. We planned a life, a future, at one point a family together. It was all a lie. The love felt real but your intentions were not. I gave you my everything. My love, my attention, my heart and soul. We got married. We were so happy... You didn't know who you were and I helped you find that. I loved that for you. Until I lost myself in the mix. All I've ever wanted is to be loved and cared for the way I love and care. But it never happens that way. I thought it would this time. We were so strong..... but not strong enough.

You wanted a life I didn't want to be apart of.. so I let you go... thinking you'd come back. I really thought you would..

I waited. And waited... night after night... you made friends and started a life while I waited in the house we built together night after night.... Someone tried to help. But his intentions were worse. If not the worst. I experienced months and months of abuse, still waiting for you to come home.... You admitted to me one day you weren't coming back... you were moving on. Starting that life you've always wanted. I said I was happy for you. But I died on the inside. I can't feel anything. No happiness, no hate, no love... just a constant emptiness where you use to live. You're happy. And I am happy for you. But I don't know if I can ever love the same.

Until I found the red fox. My red fox. He lit something back up. A light inside me that I haven't felt in a long time. Constant fun, laughter, and love. He is filled with generosity and kindness. He looks me in my eyes and sees my sadness and refuses to let it stay. For he is a red fox, and his humor and love is my remedy. He knows exactly what to say. He looks at me with soft eyes and a wide smile. He is filled with love. And he has stolen my heart. He looks at me with eyes filled with tears.. He feels the same...

But I'm scared. I hesitate. I feel distant. I'm not ready for the pain from this one..  For I have felt this before, and it did not end well...