Bruises

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I'm on my way back home and I drive fast, faster than I probably should. The road signs are following each other at a crazy speed in the corner of my eye, but I'm so distracted by my thoughts I barely notice it. I'm trying to focus on the road but all I see is her. All I can see is her. My heart is thumping in my chest and I can feel it getting tighter with each breath. My thoughts are rushing into my head so fast I can't even grasp them, it's too much, they're to much, all of this is too much.

I slow down my car and stop on the side of the road. I can't go back home, not now. There's no way I'll be able to just lay on my bed and peacefully sleep without knowing what I'll do about her. I really try to be rational, to tell myself I should wait tomorrow and think about this when I've had some rest, but I always listen to my gut feeling first, and right now it's telling me to pull a 180 and do something.

Fuck it I have to go back there, I have to.

I start the car again, change the direction I'm driving to and rush back to the shop. It's pouring rain outside and I can barely see where I'm heading to because of how dark the night is. The sun has left the sky for a few hours already since it's november, god I hate november. I always felt unsafe driving at nighttime, never really knew why. I finally arrive after driving all the way back, still just as fast. I park my car as good as my anxiety allows me to, jump out of it and almost run into the door of the shop to unlock it.

I need to find her number. I'm praying she is already registered in our database because I really don't know how I will be able to find her number if it's not the case. And I hope if she is it's with her own number but since that guy looked really controlling, I severely doubt it.

I painfully wait for that damn laptop to turn on as I sit in front of it. I don't know if it's really that slow or if I'm simply way too nervous, but it feels like endless minutes before it finally turns on. I log myself, open our customer information database and type « Loreen », only to find nothing but a blank screen. I sight loudly, try again with Alexei and thankfully find a few of them. It's not a very common name in the UK.

Alexei Andreeva, Alexei Abakumov, Alexei Beletsky and Alexei Kozlov. Well, sorry in advance to the three of them who are gonna receive an email and not understand anything, but it's needed. I try to think of an excuse that could make Loreen come back to the shop as soon as possible, and alone. I don't know if what I think is going on is really happening, if he's actually.. beating her, but if it's the case I really need to find a way to make her come back here without him. She trusted me, a stranger, enough to tell me she needed help, I can't just ignore it and give up already, I owe it to her, even if I don't know her.

I sigh and put my head into my hands, I try to focus on writing that email but the only thing I can think of is her eyes. They still haunt me, the darkness of her iris freely lingering on my mind. It feels like they were piercing through mine only seconds ago. There was so much in them, nothing made sense in what I saw there, anger and fear mixed together, a woman who clearly needed help, who was silently screaming for someone to see her..
But she was also so.. so bright? Her light faded every time Alexei was here, but still I couldn't get my gaze off her. She had this kind of aura that makes you feel like everything else surrounding it is blurry, and then all you can see is her. I felt attracted like a magnet to her, drawn to something that I still can't understand. And that something makes me wanna move mountains to help her, whatever it takes.

After spending way too long reminiscing about that woman, I finally start to type the emails to each of the four Alexei's. I choose my words wisely, saying that the staff found a wallet with an id card to the name of Loreen and writing black on white that ONLY her can come and get it back for « security reasons ». Security reasons that obviously don't exist. By saying that I hope he won't bother to come back with her, god I really hope he won't. I need to talk to her alone.
I click on the « send » button and try to calm down, taking deep breaths, attempting to make my thoughts slow down for a moment.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 23 ⏰

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