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Chapter Thirteen

Lia

It's the morning of my court appearance, and I'm a complete wreck. Lucian has done his best for the past week to keep my mind off this day, but now I must face it. Lucian's lawyer was unable to get an agreement from the judge to video my testimony; I will be making it in the courtroom, in front of my mother and my stepfather. Outwardly, I strive to appear calm and confident, even though inside I'm close to hyperventilating. I had never planned to see either of them again. I am, for all intents and purposes, alone in the world with no family. My mother hadn't spoken to her parents in years and to my knowledge, I'd never met them. Since I don't know who my father is, I have no idea about any relatives on his side. Hell, I wouldn't even know him if we passed on the street.

I had given my deposition earlier in the week, along with having my back photographed to use as evidence. The deposition seems useless now since I will be testifying in the court anyway.

Lucian walks in the bathroom where I'm staring into the mirror and moves to stand behind me. My eyes focus on his reflection. He is his usual beautiful, polished self in a grey suit with a lilac tie I picked out. His dark hair is neatly styled and his jaw freshly-shaven; he looks every inch the wealthy, successful businessman. His hands settle on my shoulders as he pulls me back into his strong body. "Okay baby?"

"Yeah," I murmur, nestling closer. We both know it's a lie, but he can't make today go away for me. I know he sees the panic I'm trying so hard to bury.

His big arms wrap around me as he kisses the top of my head. "Kills me that I can't stop this. Fuck, believe me I tried. The judge is an asshole who doesn't see the big deal in dragging an abuse victim into the courtroom and having her face a monster."

Suddenly, calm descends on me as I turn to comfort him. In a way, this has been harder for Lucian to handle than me. He feels frustrated, helpless, and angry. I wonder again if it's even wise for him to accompany me today. Will he be able to stop himself from beating my stepfather to a pulp? He has told me that his lawyer advised him to keep it under control or he'd be removed from the courtroom. I know he'll try for my sake.

Since he walked back into my life after disappearing for days, things have been different between us...better. I have spent every night at his apartment. He continues to push my boundaries both in and out of bed, and I love it. To my knowledge, he hasn't had any more nightmares. He hasn't said anything, but I have seen him taking medication before bed the last few nights. He is sleeping deeper and looks groggy in the mornings. I know he is afraid of hurting me again, but I wish the medication wasn't necessary. Maybe, after this is all over, we should both check into therapy. If Lucian won't talk to me, possibly he will open up to someone else. I just hope that being involved with someone dealing with their own demons isn't pushing him to a place he can't handle.

I reach up to cup his cheek in my palm, rubbing the smooth skin there. He has become such a big part of my life that I can't imagine what I'll do when he's gone. I can't think about that now, though; I have to survive today before I can dwell on tomorrow. "I'm fine, Luc. He can't hurt me anymore. I'm glad you're going to be there; you make everything better."

He turns his head, kissing my palm. "I've got you, baby. We'll get this behind us today, then I'll bring you home and make love to you all night. Fucking bury that shit behind us where it belongs."

"Oh, Luc." A vice squeezes my heart at his words. I have no defense against him when he gives me sweet. He's possessive, dominant, and protective toward me, but sometimes so gentle and sweet it brings me to tears. In moments like this, I feel he would battle the world to take care of me. It makes the girl who no one ever wanted feel like the woman who has it all. Words of love rise to my lips, threatening to choke me, but I hold them back. It's too soon, and I know instinctively he's not ready to hear them. I'm so afraid they'll slip out in a vulnerable moment, and it will be the catalyst that causes him to leave me.

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