Heart of Fury - Stone and Fire # 2 [17+]

Chapter 34

we getting the men's side of the tea circle now

Mikhail's POV

Hit.

Duck.

Dodge. 

Hit. 

Duck. 

Dodge.

"Give it a fucking break. You've been pummeling that bag for well over two hours."

Hit.

I ignored Luciano's grating voice and continued to punch into the hard leather. Through it, if the chance was reckoned. It was the only ensured possibility I could make it out of this day alive.

That or, I would grab the gun I'd safely laid five feet away and blow the brains out of my fucking head. 

There was no numbness to me. No hearth, no forgiveness- because the blinding anger was far too much to resist. 

The moment she left I'd considered grabbing one of the glass shards I let her walk on and stab it into my chest.

"I gave you my fucking heart, Mikhail."

And I'd torn it apart like I did everything else. I saw her eyes, those soft, alluring eyes, shatter within the fragment of a second, each shard slamming my breath I'd taken a step back just to keep her at arm's length- because I knew if I didn't, the fists at my side would open and pull her in like they never had before. 

And she wasn't ready for that. 

She loved me. I'd refused the notion- disbelieved it, because ultimately, Aurora was right. And even if I had said it back, like my brain told me to, there was no ultimatum- no proof that she would be fine with the consequences of that. I would whisk her away to wherever the fuck she wanted, give her things she'd dreamed of, and make her feel ways she'd wished she never missed out on for the past four years.

She didn't understand. 

Wouldn't be able to, because she was involved in far too much good to become weighed down by my past. The same past I didn't think would catch up, the same past I thought I would be able to escape and crawl out of before it wrapped around my neck and caused me to take her down with me.

Hit. Hit. Hit. 

My muscles pulsed and the storm of regret grew larger. Became a chaos-filled cloud, clobbering up my surroundings until blood started to drip down my knuckles and pain tingled across my nerves. 

Most of the time, it felt freeing. Now, it felt like each punch was landing on my chest instead of the weighed-down bag.

Marriage as an excuse? What a fucking joke. 

She was right- she knew me enough to knew how nonsensical the idea was. Me, marrying someone? It was an idea worth using in a stand-up comedy session. 

The only difference was, I could actually picture slipping a ring on Aurora's finger. I could picture walking by her side and watching her pick off pink lilies to take home and put in a vase- because that's something she would do. I could see her grabbing a tub of strawberry ice cream and sitting on the couch at three in the fucking morning so she could sulk over Cassie looking too grown. 

I could picture all of what I'd missed out on. I'd let her slip between my fingers after having her for so long, and that's what made me want to burn this whole house down- because why could I still feel her gentle fingers around my neck? Inching closer to the one spot I never let anyone touch, but letting her because it felt like a dove's feather on my skin?